What Is Self Compassion and What Is It Not?
Self-compassion is an attitude and determines one’s attitude towards one’s own feelings and thoughts. It consists of three basic components. These are self-kindness, common humanity, and awareness.
Self-kindness is related to what the person says to himself and how he acts after the events he has experienced. In other words, does the person criticize himself, take a punitive attitude or act with a supportive attitude? In this context, what is meant by self-kindness is to approach oneself with a loving and gentle attitude. Sometimes feelings and thoughts are so intense that it can be difficult to be kind to ourselves. At such times, it can be a reminder of self-kindness to stop and ask the question of what he would say to a friend of mine, how I would behave, and try to show the attitude here for ourselves. Another component, the common human condition, states that all experiences, feelings and thoughts are part of the common human experience. Being human involves growing up, inevitably making mistakes and facing life’s challenges. The way each person experiences pain is different, but the suffering is common, and this suffering is very natural. Remembering this and evaluating our lives from this perspective is part of self-compassion. Awareness, on the other hand, is the state of being aware of our feelings and thoughts, without trying to avoid or ignore them. It is also important for us to realize our feelings and thoughts and open up space, to recognize and shape our needs and expectations.
Self-compassion isn’t about being self-pitying, always being gentle, being selfish by thinking only about yourself, just standing still or being passive. Self-compassion can be in the form of just staying with those experiences and stopping, or it also includes active actions such as evaluating what we need and taking action in line with these needs and expectations, or ending relationships and situations that are not good for us.
With self-compassion practices, we can change the relationship we have with ourselves. In this way, our relationships with other people and the world can also change. Studies show that a self-compassionate attitude leads to greater happiness, life satisfaction, self-confidence and physical health. Therefore, self-compassion is an attitude that can be learned and practiced by everyone, increasing well-being.
By Psk. Cansu Şahin
Source: Self
Compassionate Awareness Practice Guide, Dr. Christopher K. Germer, Dr. Kristin Neff
Uzman Bilgisi
Yazıları
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I can’t live without him, we complement each other, I’m incomplete without him, I can’t imagine a world without him… These expressions, which we all hear or say personally in our daily life, may not be so innocent after all. Ranging from ‘I’m nothing without you’ to ‘it’s mine or the black soil’, these sentences …
Role Distribution in Life: Unloved
There are children who are not accepted, loved, and rejected by their mothers. They climb to their mothers, to love me, take care of me, take care of me. The more she climbs, the more the mother pushes, the more the mother pushes, the more the child clings to the mother. These kids cry for …
Attitudes of Parents in University Exams
University exams have increasingly become the nightmare of both young people and parents in our country. Many people who put all their hopes into these exams go into a serious stress environment before and after the exam. They are right. So it’s not an unwarranted stress. Children flock to psychiatrists at exam time. They have …
Mental Problems Disrupt Our Physical Health
Studies by scientists say that mental problems and related problems can lead to serious diseases in the body after a while. Examining the timing and course of certain diseases shows how connected we are to the people in our lives and how much we are affected by these relationships. The frictions, turmoil and disappointments experienced …
So Was It Time to Die?
I always thought of our country as one big family. Not every country is a family, but our country has always been a big family since the establishment of the Republic of Turkey. Although the population of this family increased very rapidly, new brides and grooms entered the family, some of them were our own …
People of a Huge Country Looking for Himself
I’ve been a curious person for as long as I can remember. I was like that in my childhood. I will never forget the day I started school. My mother had tied white ribbons to my braided hair hanging from both sides. It was as if I was knocking on the door of the world …
Loving Yourself
It is actually very difficult for a person to love and like himself because the beast inside us is insatiable. If we do three, he’ll want five more. Such is the nature of man, but if it were not so, we would all sit hand in hand. Nature probably knows these things better than any …
Betrayal
Betrayal is perhaps one of the greatest pains that human beings can experience in the world. Even poets, in poems and songs, are angry if you compare separation and betrayal with death, and they say that betrayal always hurts a person even more than death. Because in betrayal, there are infuriating and hurtful meanings such …
Always the Same Role
Our role in life begins the moment we are born. This first role, given to us by our mothers, fathers or very close relatives, sticks to us so much that we never leave that role as long as we live, even if the movies change or the scenarios are written differently. Then we call it …
Marriage, Middle Age, Lie
Usually all men are afraid before marriage. They flee as the prey flees the predator. They are afraid of being caught by the hunter. For a while, they see girls as husband hunters. They do not have such fears at a young age, long before the age of marriage. Then there is only love for …
Reflections of the Economic Crisis on the Human Spirit
The people of our country have been living with crises for years. I mean, it never even came out. Economic crises that occur every 8-10 years, natural disasters, terrorism, emerging corruption and wars surrounding our country… All these strengthen our people against all kinds of crises and increase their ability to stand under all conditions, …
A Mobbing Tragedy
The meaning of mobbing can be defined as psychological violence, pressure or harassment. Especially in places where there is a hierarchical structure, it is the powerful oppressing the underdogs or harassing them in various ways. This harassment can sometimes be done by using social and psychological pressure methods, and sometimes it can be in the …
Trauma-Associated Disorders
Trauma, in its most general definition, is a state of discomfort resulting from an unusual experience that has a lasting effect on the individual’s mental state and personality. It is possible to examine traumas in 2 types as short-term and permanent traumas. While short-term traumas occur as a result of sudden and non-continuous events such …
Drug Uses in Psychiatry
We can say that there is an extreme tendency towards medical drugs in our society. Most of the time, it is common to use medication based on the symptoms that occur in the body, even if it is not prescribed by a doctor. In cases such as a small cough, fever or headache, we resort …
Our Most “Popular” Schemes
The emotional needs of individuals that are not met, especially in childhood, play a role in the formation of certain schemas. Emotional deprivation: It results from the emotional neglect of a child’s primary caregiver, most often the mother. The idea that “I will never be loved enough” prevails. These people, knowingly or unknowingly, put emotional …
The Importance of Peer Relationships in Children
In early childhood, babies begin to show a marked interest in all other children. However, since the social skills necessary to play with other children are not yet fully developed, the first types of play are the ones they play alone. After a while, they start to play side-by-side games with their peers around the …
Divorce: A Psychological Perspective
One of the most common issues that parents want to receive counseling or therapy services for their children is the divorce process. Divorce, which is an undesirable situation in parental relations, can lead to different effects for each family structure. Depending on the attitudes and behaviors of the parents, it can be considered normal, on …
Deception And Abandonment
In my first years of working as a cheating and abandonment psychiatrist, that is, 25-30 years ago (in fact, I don’t like talking about such huge numbers when talking about past years, but unfortunately this is the truth) I only listened to women who were cheated on. These were women stabbed in the chest, that’s …
Our Current Psychology Publications
Is There Such a Thing as Coronaphobia, or Not!
“What if I’ve contracted the virus?” “What if I’m asymptomatic and pass it on to someone?” …
What is Stress? Symptoms and Treatment Methods of Stress
Stress, the natural reaction of the body during any moment of danger that requires adaptation or response, can be triggered …
Empathy: The Art of Understanding Others and Establishing Empathic Connection
The term “empathy” is briefly mentioned as “duygudaşlık” on the Turkish Language Association’s …
The Sense of Emotional Neglect
Emptiness The traumas individuals experience during childhood can leave profound marks on their lives. Neglect and abuse …
Healthy Communication in Marriage
Effective Ways to Solve Problems in Marriage – How Should Healthy Arguments Be? Marriage is the union of two individuals …
Bedwetting (Enuresis)
The term enuresis comes from the Greek word “enourein,” which means “to urinate.” Today, enuresis …
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in Children
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) in children is characterized by the constant and often prolonged repetition of certain …
Fear, Anxiety, and Children
Fear, Anxiety, and Children Many children experience fear and anxiety as a normal part of their development. They exhibit …
Neurodevelopmental Disorders
Neurodevelopmental disorders encompass a group of differences and disorders that affect the development of the nervous system, …
