KORONAFOBİ Diye Bir Şey mi Var Yoksa!

Is There Such a Thing as Coronaphobia, or Not!

“What if I’ve contracted the virus?” “What if I’m asymptomatic and pass it on to someone?” “If I go outside, it will definitely find me.” “I won’t be able to protect my child.” “Have I washed my hands enough?” “I think I didn’t wash for 20 seconds; let me wash them again.” … Hundreds of questions come to our minds. Right after that, a considerable amount of anxiety follows! And then the gifts of anxiety; insomnia, stomach-headaches, difficulty breathing, palpitations…

There is no diagnosis called “Coronaphobia,” but it’s not far from our minds 🙂

There is a reality that the “Coronavirus” may be around us. The most worrisome thing is not being able to see where it is. The lack of definite information about how its treatment will be done. This uncertainty is the most important factor increasing anxiety. We will focus on what we know for sure.

So, what should we do?

Let’s first deal with concrete facts.

*Apply cleanliness measures announced everywhere adequately.

*Wash hands as regularly described (for 20 seconds with soap and water).

*Do not touch your face with dirty hands.

*Postpone handshakes, kisses, and hugs.

*Do not prefer crowded places too much.

*Ventilate the environment you are in frequently.

*If you have returned from abroad, stay at home for 14 days and finish your pending tasks and enjoy yourself 🙂

Now, let’s move on to what needs to be done for psychological health:

Maybe you can’t continue your normal daily routine. Establish an activity routine as similar to your daily routine as possible. Spend quality time with your loved ones, even if you don’t hug and kiss them much. Don’t put your social relationships into quarantine. Don’t let the agenda at home be about illness and possible disaster scenarios. Remember that the children are there too! Try to exercise. Meditation is always good and not as difficult as you think 🙂 Notice the anxious thoughts that come frequently; don’t try to solve them by thinking about them all (we don’t have that power). Yes, call it an anxiety thought again, try to notice it. Watch the course of the thought while continuing your work 🙂 If you find that this anxiety is increasingly enveloping you, then consult with a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. You have the chance of online therapy 🙂

Stay well with love and health.


Stres Nedir? Nasıl Başa çıkılır? Tedavi Yöntemi Nelerdir?

What is Stress? Symptoms and Treatment Methods of Stress

Stress, the natural reaction of the body during any moment of danger that requires adaptation or response, can be triggered by both real and perceived threatening situations. The observed situation of danger can be an actual event or a situation perceived as “dangerous” by the mind. The stress response that emerges to protect the individual can disrupt the quality of life and functionality when excessively observed. Many life events in daily life, such as school, home, family, and work environments, can become stressful. Stress can manifest at the physical, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral levels, not only in the face of negative life events but also in situations that require adaptation, such as changes in work or city.

In addition to everyday life events, when traumatic experiences occur or in situations with unforeseeable or uncertain conditions, internal conflicts arise, becoming a source of stress. Stress becomes inevitable when existing coping mechanisms prove insufficient in times of change or situations requiring adaptation.

What is Stress?

The term stress, commonly used to describe mental tension, is an ancient phenomenon dating back to the existence of humanity. The factors causing stress have evolved along with the changes in the process from ancient times to the present. Experiencing stress from the past to the present has been related to how individuals perceive the stress-inducing factor. Therefore, the concept of stress is a variable one from person to person.

To define and understand stress, many researchers have sought answers to the question “What is stress?” Hans Selye, one of the first and important scientists researching stress, defines stress as a general response of the individual to various environmental stimuli. According to Doğan Cüceloğlu, stress is the effort expended beyond the physical and psychological limits due to maladaptive conditions in the physical and social environment. Traumatic events, natural disasters, accidents, pandemics, negative aspects of work life, economic conditions, life events such as marriage-divorce, moving, and daily problems (losing an object, being late somewhere) are among the stimuli that cause stress.

Why Do We Experience Stress?

Although stress is often referred to as a negative condition, it has a vital and protective significance in human life. When a person sees a wild predator approaching, the body activates an “alarm system.” In moments of danger, the nervous system releases cortisol (stress hormone) and adrenaline hormones. These hormones enable the body to enter an “alarm state.” Heart rate increases, muscles tense, breathing intensifies, and the body becomes ready to fight the danger. This automatic response of the nervous system is called the Fight-Flight response and is activated automatically. Despite the fact that almost no one faces a wild predator in daily life, cortisol and adrenaline release often occur, muscles tense, blood flow accelerates, and breathing intensifies.

The body and mind struggle to distinguish how dangerous daily life events are; when it receives signals of internal or external danger, it activates the Fight-Flight response. In moments such as a promotion or approaching deadline for a task, it behaves similarly to when a wild predator is approaching. Therefore, one needs to be alert frequently. In the face of an approaching “danger,” to survive, the individual activates the alarm system physically, emotionally, cognitively, and behaviorally. Being constantly alert and trying to cope with danger becomes exhausting in the long run, reducing functionality. The vital alarm system, when used excessively, becomes dysfunctional and adversely affects psychological well-being.

Stress Symptoms.

The symptoms of stress that occur in the body in response to environmental stimuli causing stress can manifest in four different areas. These symptoms become more pronounced on individuals in conjunction with excessive stress. Excessive stress reveals itself with various symptoms in the physical, mental, emotional, and social domains.

Despite encountering stressful situations in many aspects of daily life, individuals may not be aware that they are experiencing stress in many cases. When experienced frequently, individuals may become accustomed to this situation, consider it normal, or may not associate their problems with stress. However, stress has many physical, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral symptoms.

Physical Symptoms:

Heart palpitations, aches and a feeling of fatigue, muscle tension, accelerated breathing, gastrointestinal problems (constipation, diarrhea, stomach and intestinal disorders), weakness, chest pain, nausea, dizziness, frequent illnesses, weakening of the immune system, and loss of sexual desire are observable.

*Pains (back, head, muscle pain),

*Teeth grinding and jaw clenching,

*Stomach and intestinal problems (diarrhea, constipation, colitis, indigestion),

*Excessive sweating,

*Changes in appetite,

*Loss of energy.

Mental Symptoms:

Forgetfulness, difficulty making decisions, a constant anxious state, focusing on the negative aspects of events, weakening judgment skills, memory problems, and difficulty concentrating can be observed.

*Memory loss,

*Concentration problems,

*Confusion and indecision.

Emotional Symptoms:

Reluctance, inability to enjoy things that were enjoyable before, feeling lonely, depression, feeling unhappy or joyless, pessimism, a sense of overwhelm, restlessness, sensitivity, irritability, anger outbursts, and anxiety disorders can be observed.

*Feeling anxious,

*Anger outbursts,

*Sudden changes in mood,

*Excessive sensitivity.

Social Symptoms:

*Distrust of others,

*Tendency to blame and embarrass the other party,


Behavioral Symptoms:

Sleep disorders (oversleeping, difficulty falling asleep, fragmented sleep), appetite problems (overeating or loss of appetite), anxiety-related behaviors (nail-biting, hair pulling), procrastination, inability to start or sustain a task, isolation from people, introversion, and substance use can be observed.

 What Causes Stress?

While negative situations (job loss, divorce) generally appear among the causes of stress, new beginnings (starting a new job), positive changes in life (getting married) can also be sources of stress. Stress is closely related to individuals’ psychological resilience and their perception of events. The reactions individuals give to internal and external changes create individual stressors, so there is no single answer to the question “What causes stress?”

As life continues, everything is in a state of change, and individuals try to adapt to these environmental, physical, and psychological changes. The body releases stress hormones in moments of danger or when it feels it has lost control over events. Thanks to these hormones, it becomes easier to control or adapt to stressful situations. However, individuals who have difficulty returning to balance after stressful situations may experience mental exhaustion from time to time.

What Are the Causes of Stress?

Many factors in life can be a source of stress. Life events such as work, school, changing homes, starting university, finishing school, promotions, or the loss of a loved one, illness, natural disasters, and traumatic events such as accidents can be stressors. Relational difficulties, intense work conditions, becoming a parent, getting married, divorcing, financial difficulties can also be among life events that cause stress. However, stress may not always originate from external factors.

Having an anxious or pessimistic disposition, feeling excessive guilt, having an irrational thought structure, being unable to tolerate uncertainty, having weak flexibility skills, perfectionism, either-or style of thinking, negative perceptions about self-worth, and excessive negative inner voices (like it won’t happen, you can’t do it) are also factors observed among the internal triggers of stress.


Stress’s Physiological and Psychological Effects

Stress, which plays a significant role in individuals’ physical and mental well-being, has various physiological and psychological effects. Events perceived as threats by the mind lead to mental stimulation, which then transforms into physical arousal. Following this process, bodily responses and the effects of stress on the body become apparent.

Cardiovascular Diseases

During stress, the heart rate and blood flow in the vessels increase to provide more energy to the body. Therefore, one of the most important disorders that can be considered among the effects of stress is cardiovascular diseases.

Chronic Pains

Stress hormones released during stress affect the immune system. Rheumatoid arthritis, an immune system-related disorder, leads to the development of chronic pains in the body. Fibromyalgia syndrome, causing musculoskeletal pains, and increased pain in patients with rheumatoid arthritis during stressful periods have been observed.

Immune System

Stress negatively affects the immune system. Patients with autoimmune disorders experience an increase in their symptoms during stressful periods.

Digestive System

Excessive stress disrupts the balance of the digestive system, leading to stomach and intestinal diseases.

Psychological Stress Reactions

Stress is closely related to psychological health. Depression and anxiety, among the effects of stress, negatively impact an individual’s psychology.

Individuals encounter many negative effects on their physical and mental health due to excessive stress. In addition to these, there are daily life situations affected by stress, such as sleep disorders, eating disorders, disruption of sexual life, increased accidents, decreased work productivity, and deterioration in social relationships.

What Are the Effects of Chronic Stress?

Stress does not always create negative results. A certain amount of stress is a driving force that increases motivation. However, being exposed to stress continuously eventually leads to chronic stress, creating a feeling of fatigue and overwhelm in the individual’s life. Many issues such as upcoming exams, household responsibilities, and workloads with approaching deadlines can cause chronic stress. In such situations that require intense focus, the mind is triggered, and it starts to act as if there is a real threat. A kind of alarm system is activated, and especially physical changes are observed. Heart rate increases, and breathing may intensify. In cases of chronic stress, anxiety disorders, depression, sleep problems, and clinical conditions related to thinking and memory (such as forgetfulness) may occur. During stress, the body starts to act as if there is a threat; therefore, the body is set in motion. In cases of intense and chronic stress, along with the activation of the body’s alarm system (Fight or Flight response), autoimmune diseases, chronic pains, gastrointestinal problems (such as reflux, ulcers), cardiovascular diseases (heart, hypertension), loss of appetite, and skin problems (eczema, hives) may occur.

Coping with Stress

Coping with stress methods are divided into two categories: eliminating the factors causing stress and controlling emotions during stressful moments. Eliminating the damage caused by stress also holds a significant place in stress coping methods.

Problem-Focused Coping

The problem-focused coping method aims to change the stress source in the individual’s environment. With this method, the primary step is to identify the problem causing stress. Then, alternatives are produced for solving the problem, evaluating the benefits and drawbacks of these alternatives, and making a choice among the alternatives based on the evaluations.

Emotion-Focused Coping

In situations where the stress-inducing situation is perceived as uncontrollable, the emotion-focused coping method is used to reduce or manage emotional distress. In emotion-focused stress coping, the individual recognizes and acknowledges the negative emotions that arise with the stressful situation. Along with being able to control the identified emotions, the individual can transform the negative mood into a positive one.


Reducing the Harms Caused by Excessive Stress

To mitigate the damages caused by stress, it is crucial to explore answers to the question “What is good for stress?” Here are some methods to cope with stress and reduce its impacts on the body

Adequate Sleep & Balanced Nutrition

Adequate Sleep and Balanced Nutrition are Crucial Factors for the Regular Functioning of Body Systems.

Breath & Meditation

Breathing and meditation practices significantly reduce the body’s stress levels.

Regular Exercise

Engaging in exercise helps reduce the release of stress hormones in the body.

Ways to Cope with Stress

To reduce the impact of stress, it is crucial to discover what triggers it. Understanding the source facilitates the development of coping methods and marks the first step in choosing a path. Recognizing stress symptoms and enhancing awareness during stressful moments are other essential steps. In situations of intense stress where coping becomes challenging, seeking assistance from a mental health professional is critical. If deemed necessary, medical treatment can be initiated. In psychotherapy, interventions are made to explore the source of stress and strengthen coping mechanisms.

Keeping daily records of stress-related events (incident, trigger, thoughts at that moment, emotions, behavior record) increases awareness. This allows the identification of triggers and understanding the initiators. Breathing and relaxation exercises applied during stress can help reduce and control the body’s stress levels. In psychotherapy practices, individuals are taught breathing and relaxation exercises to learn how to relax physically during stressful moments. Additionally, creating a connection between events-thoughts-emotions-behaviors triggering stress brings about changes in the thought system.

Methods for coping with stress include physical exercise, healthy eating, regular sleep and rest, communication with others, maintaining social connections, focusing on the present rather than the past or future, trying to enjoy the moment, and learning to relax.

How to Seek Professional Help in Coping with Stress

Each individual’s life, past, environment, and perception of life are unique. Therefore, the perspective on events and stress varies from person to person. Coping with stress is a personal journey that can take place through individual effort. For those who find it difficult to cope with stress alone, seeking professional help in stress therapy is important. The goal is to identify individual stressors and teach personalized coping methods. The aim is to increase emotional resilience and ensure emotional management during stressful moments.

For those significantly affected by stress:

  • whose daily life, work, social relationships are impaired,
  • experiencing deterioration in physical health,
  • negatively affected psychologically,
  • struggling to cope with stress alone, it is crucial to seek support from a qualified psychiatrist and/or clinical psychologist.

Is a Stress-Free Life Possible?

Stress is a driving force and motivation source in human life. When it does not exist at all or reaches an excessive level, it disrupts functionality. Using stress as a creative force to support skills and abilities will reduce its negative effects and help focus on tasks and maintain a healthy daily routine.

Eliminating life events such as marriage, divorce, loss of a loved one, unemployment, becoming a parent, loss, grieving process, starting a new relationship, separation, illness, retirement, and others is not possible. Similarly, achieving a completely stress-free life is not possible. In some cases, individuals may make changes in their lives to distance themselves from stress. However, avoiding stress can become a long-term problem-solving method and bring about different issues. Every new environment becomes another source of stress in terms of adaptation and adjustment. Depending on the need, changes in life can be made to reduce stress. However, identifying stressors and developing coping methods are essential for long-term prevention of similar discomforts and are the most meaningful intervention for increasing psychological well-being.

The presence of family and social circles is a significant healing factor in coping with stress. In situations where stress is intense, individuals may prefer to be alone, but spending time with people and socializing is a protective factor. The feeling of control over one’s own life is a crucial variable in decision-making. Reducing negative attributions when interpreting events makes individuals feel better. It is known that individuals with high emotional coping skills and self-awareness cope with stress better or experience less stress.”

If you have any specific questions or if there’s anything else I can help you with, feel free to let me know!



  1. Aysal, N. (2014). “Stres algısı, başa çıkma, kişilik ve sağlık arasındaki ilişkilerin etkileşimsel stres ve başa çıkma modelinde incelenmesi.” (Yayımlanmamış yüksek lisans tezi). Okan Üniversitesi Sosyal Bilimler Enstitüsü Psikoloji Ana Bilim Dalı Psikoloji Bilim Dalı, Ankara.
  2. Güçlü, N. (2001). “Stres Yönetimi.” Gazi Üniversitesi Gazi Eğitim Fakültesi Dergisi, 21(1).
  3. Türk, K. (2022). “Bilişsel esneklik, stresle başa çıkma tarzları ve algılanan stres arasındaki ilişkilerin incelenmesi.” (Yayımlanmamış yüksek lisans tezi). Çukurova Üniversitesi Sosyal Bilimler Enstitüsü Eğitim Bilimleri Ana Bilim Dalı, Adana.
  4. Mental Health Foundation. (https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/stress)
  5. Everyday Health. (https://www.everydayhealth.com/stress/guide/effects-on-body/)


Empati: Başkalarını Anlama Ve Empatik Bağlantı Kurma Sanatı

Empathy: The Art of Understanding Others and Establishing Empathic Connection

The term “empathy” is briefly mentioned as “duygudaşlık” on the Turkish Language Association’s website, and in psychological sources, it is also referred to as “eşduyum.”

The word “empathy” comes from the Greek word “empathia,” using the “em” prefix, which implies within or inside. “Pathia” means feeling, and thus, the word “empathia” gains its meaning as feeling within.

When we examine the meanings of the word “empathy,” the shortest form is stated as “being able to put oneself in someone else’s shoes in terms of emotion and thought.” It is defined as the ability to understand the feelings, desires, and thoughts of another person as if perceiving them with their consciousness, without experiencing their experiences at that moment (Cevizci 1996). This means that one of the most important aspects of a person’s ability to understand others is the ability to empathize. This ability is shaped through the relationship established with caregivers (parents or those assuming care) and environmental factors from birth. This situation evolves to its present state. If we examine the relationship between the child and the caregiver, we can see how the foundation for establishing empathic connection can be laid. Firstly, parents see the needs of their children through the reactions children display, and they decide what their needs are based on their perceptions. Hunger and toilet needs are important examples of this. Secondly, it comes to ensure the correctness of the material and spiritual needs met by children. Is that need really being met? Knowing the answer to this question is crucial. In the final stage, parents convey to their children, through their behaviors and words, that they understand them and share their feelings, thus making the children feel understood.

All of these are also valid in relationships between adult individuals today. That is, listening to and observing the person we communicate with, trying to understand their feelings and thoughts, thinking in detail about what else could be happening, and finally, expressing these to the person we communicate with as far as we understand are basic steps to establish an empathic connection.

Perhaps one of the indispensable elements of psychotherapeutic studies is for the psychotherapist to establish a relationship with the clients in an empathic manner. Like everyone else, individuals who apply for psychotherapy want to be understood well enough and to trust. A client who feels understood and trusts their therapist becomes more empathetic in their relationships with others. With ongoing psychotherapeutic work, they can reach a point where they can see and direct transformations in their personality. In this way, they can lead a more peaceful individual and social life.



  • Turkish Language Association website
  • Ahmet Cevizci – Philosophy Dictionary
  • Empathy Objectivity Dilemma in Psychotherapy (Özbay M. Haluk, Canpolat Banu Işık)



Özenç Utku ÖZTÜRK

Clinical Psychologist

University: Doğuş University, Department of Psychology

Expertise: Clinical Psychology, Istanbul Okan University

Duygusal İhmal’in Duygusu Boşluk

The Sense of Emotional Neglect

Emptiness The traumas individuals experience during childhood can leave profound marks on their lives. Neglect and abuse during childhood can lead to psychological problems in adolescence and adulthood. According to research, 35-57% of individuals may exhibit psychological symptoms in adulthood based on the neglect and abuse they experienced in childhood (Goodman, Rosenberg, Mueser, & Drake, 1997; Mueser, Bond, Drake, & Resnick, 1998; Mueser et al., 2004).

Childhood traumas are divided into two groups: abuse and neglect. These two subtypes are further classified into physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse, as well as physical neglect and emotional neglect. According to a study involving individuals diagnosed with psychological disorders, emotional neglect and physical neglect were reported as the most common types of maltreatment (Xie et al., 2018). This blog post aims to discuss emotional neglect and the resulting feeling of emptiness.

Emotional neglect is defined as the failure of caregivers to meet the emotional needs of a child. Examples of emotional needs include caregivers not showing affection to the child, the child witnessing domestic violence, permissive attitudes towards the child’s problematic behaviors, and the absence of emotional care (Stoltenborg, Bakermans-Kranenburg, & Ijzendoorn, 2013).

According to Webb and Musello (2020), adults who have experienced emotional neglect often struggle with a feeling of emptiness, and this feeling can become chronic. Individuals experiencing the sense of emptiness may have multiple emotions, finding it challenging to express and understand their feelings. This feeling of emptiness may emerge as a way for individuals to express the overwhelming nature of having too many emotions. When the feeling of emptiness arises, individuals may struggle to show self-compassion and understand their own needs.

Unmet emotional needs during childhood can manifest in unhealthy attachment patterns in adult relationships. According to Sadock and Sadock (2008), individuals who have experienced emotional neglect may approach unfamiliar people with love but show emotionally detached behavior towards long-known individuals in social contexts. This inability to establish secure attachments in relationships can lead to difficulties in forming healthy relationship dynamics. Individuals experiencing a sense of worthlessness and loneliness in their relationships are commonly observed (Webb & Musello, 2020). In clinical settings, individuals often describe this feeling as “emptiness” when they have difficulty expressing their emotions. When individuals are faced with this emptiness and psychological symptoms, seeking support from professionals through psychotherapy can be beneficial.


Book Recommendations:

  • “Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect” by Jonice Webb
  • “Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships with Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children” by Jonice Webb References:
  • Goodman LA, Rosenberg SD, Mueser KT, Drake RE. (1997). Physical and sexual assault history in women with serious mental illness: prevalence, correlates, treatment, and future research directions, Schizophrenia Bulletin, doi:10.1093/schbul/23.4.685.
  • Mueser, KT, Bond GR, Drake RE, Resnick SG. (1998). Models of community care for severe mental illness: A review of research on case management, Schizophrenia Bulletin, doi:10.1093/oxfordjournals.schbul.a033314
  • Mueser KT, Clark RE, Haines M, Drake RE, McHugo GJ, Bond GR, … Swain K. (2004). The Hartford study of supported employment for persons with severe mental illness, Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, doi: 10.1037/0022-006X.72.3.479.
  • Sadock BJ, Sadock VA. (2008). Problems Related to Abuse and Neglect. In: R. Cancro (ed). Kaplan & Sadock‘s Concise Textbook of Clinical Psychiatry, Baltimore, Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 414-420.
  • Stoltenborg M, Bakermans-Kranenburg MJ, van Ijzendoorn MH, Alink LRA. (2013). Cultural-geographical differences in the occurrence of child physical abuse? A meta-analysis of global prevalence, International Journal of Psychology, doi:10.1080/00207594.2012.697165.
  • Webb, J. ve Musello, C. (2020). Çocuklukta ihmalin izi: boşluk hissi (12. bs.). (Arıkan, G., Çev.) İstanbul: Sola Unitas.
  • Xie P, Wu K, Zheng Y, Guo Y, Yang Y, He J, … Peng H. (2018). Prevalence of childhood trauma and correlations between childhood trauma, suicidal ideation, and social support in patients with depression, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia in southern China, Journal of Affective Disorders, doi:10.1016/j.jad.2017.11.011



Clinical Psychologist


Hacettepe University, Faculty of Letters, Psychology (High Honor Student), 2016

Hacettepe University, Faculty of Letters, Sociology (Minor), 2016



Ankara University, Institute of Health Sciences, Interdisciplinary Family Counseling (High Honor Student), 2021

Ankara Yıldırım Beyazıt University, Institute of Social Sciences, Clinical Psychology (High Honor Student), 2021


Evlilikte Sağlıklı Tartışma

Healthy Communication in Marriage

Effective Ways to Solve Problems in Marriage – How Should Healthy Arguments Be?

Marriage is the union of two individuals with distinct personality traits, cultural backgrounds, perspectives, values, and beliefs, creating a structure where they rediscover themselves. During this process, adaptation and harmony become fundamental qualities. Considering that each person tries to adapt to their unique characteristics, conflicts between spouses are a natural outcome. In this complex structure, encountering problems is inevitable. However, the crucial point to note is our ability to solve problems within this structure.

As a fundamental reality of life, communication between spouses is the most crucial factor in problem-solving skills. That’s why communication has been the most discussed topic in family therapies. In an unhealthy relationship, communication and interaction are inadequate, deficient, or flawed. When communication is coupled with effective problem-solving skills, the marriage is positively influenced. Understanding each other mutually brings happiness, satisfaction, harmony, and shared development to the relationship. Experiencing differences of opinion with our partner and engaging in discussions does not always indicate a problem. In fact, these discussions or problems can contribute to the development of the relationship when approached through correct communication channels.

In couple therapies, we focus on how to cope with different problems and conflicts rather than eliminating the problem. In other words, rather than expecting arguments to end or problems to disappear, addressing any communication problems that may arise and finding solutions to them, as well as focusing on ending disagreements in a constructive way, becomes more important.

How Should Healthy Communication in Relationships Be?

In our relationships, problems and disagreements may arise. Ignoring them can lead to more significant problems later on. Solution can only occur when a problem is acknowledged and shared between partners. Seeing the problems in the relationship clearly and accepting their existence will help to define the problem and generate alternatives for a solution. Without forgetting that everyone has good or bad, black or white sides, we should focus on solving our problems without blaming each other.

It’s important to remember in a relationship that we are on the same team, on the same side. According to many studies, spouses often see themselves as “competitors” in problem-solving skills. If we ignore the fact that the gain and loss of one side are common, we fall into the trap of the right-wrong case instead of focusing on the existing problem. Focusing on our existing problem makes things easier, and both sides benefit. The goal is not to win an argument but to find a solution.

During an argument, couples often think more about what the other person will say rather than what the other person said. This mindset increases tension during the argument. By trying to respond without making an effort to understand or hear what your partner is saying, you may violate their expression space. In such a situation, you may misunderstand or misinterpret what your partner said, creating a new topic for discussion. However, in healthy communication or argument, it is essential to wait for your partner to finish speaking and try to understand their feelings and thoughts. This will show that you respect them, want to compromise, and, more importantly, that you listen to them, understand them, and find it valuable for yourself.

The desire to be right in couples usually leads to arguments that begin with any subject and continue with references to similar complaints or conflicts in the past or present. Instead of focusing on resolving a problem, this makes solving the argument more difficult. Rather than trying to resolve one problem, if we want to solve a problem, we should focus on one thing and concentrate on solving that particular problem. Everything should proceed step by step, one by one.

The cliché but equally forgotten golden rule is to use “I” language instead of “You” language. Instead of blaming or criticizing our partner with “you” language, saying how an event made us feel using “I” language allows them to better understand us and prevents possible conflicts or defenses before they happen. Speaking in “I” language helps to communicate our feelings without putting blame or judgment. For example, a judgmental sentence like “You always leave the dishes in the middle after every meal” turns into a non-blaming or judgmental one with “I” language: “It makes me very uneasy when you leave the dishes in the middle after a meal.” This statement solely belongs to our feelings, without accusations or judgments. It prevents possible arguments or defenses.

The primary rule of a healthy argument is to criticize behavior rather than personality. People’s characters do not change, as they are a whole with a certain culture, nature of upbringing, family that raised them, and a specific past. Behavior patterns, on the other hand, are changeable. That’s why emphasizing the negative aspects of our characters is useless; it only leads to hurt feelings and anger.



Clinical Psychologist

University: Bilkent University, Faculty of Economics and Administrative Sciences, Department of Psychology

Specialization: Bournemouth University, Institute of Human Sciences (with Honors)

Alt Islatma (Enürezis)

Bedwetting (Enuresis)

The term enuresis comes from the Greek word “enourein,” which means “to urinate.” Today, enuresis is used to describe the involuntary and inappropriate urination at an age when developmental control of urination is expected.

Studies on urination indicate that Turkish families do not express much concern about enuresis. In addition to preferring observation or traditional methods to solve this problem, there is a common fear that the medications used in the treatment of children may cause infertility in the future. Therefore, the prevalence of enuresis is higher than what is observed clinically.

During normal development, children typically begin to gain bladder control around the ages of 2-3. Nighttime control is usually completed between the third and fourth years. If bedwetting occurs after the age of five at night or if there is daytime urinary incontinence during sleep, it is referred to as nocturnal and diurnal enuresis, respectively.

For the diagnosis of bedwetting, the child must repeatedly wet the bed or clothes, with a frequency of at least twice a week for a minimum of three consecutive months. It should cause clinically significant distress, impair social, occupational, or other areas of functionality, and the child must be at least 5 years old (or at an equivalent developmental level). Moreover, this behavior should not be directly attributed to the physiological effects of a substance or a general medical condition.

Bedwetting is reported more in males. 60% of those with daytime and/or nighttime bedwetting are male, and 90% of those with only nighttime bedwetting are male. One in every 10-15 boys aged 6-7 wets the bed frequently, compared to one in every 15-20 girls. Nighttime bedwetting is more common in boys, while daytime and nighttime bedwetting is more common in girls. As a result, it is observed in boys at 2-3 times the frequency of girls.

Various assumptions have been put forward for the causes of bedwetting, but none fully explains all cases.

Biological causes in Bedwetting: Familial predisposition: Research suggests that if both parents have a history of enuresis, there is a 70-75% chance of occurrence in children. If only one parent has a history of enuresis, the likelihood of enuresis in children is reported to be 40-50%. Delay in the development of the central nervous system Issues related to bladder physiology Sleep-related causes in Bedwetting Hormonal factors Psychosocial factors Toilet training Challenging life events

Bedwetting Treatment Such problems affect both the child and the family. Wetting the bed frequently can cause the child to feel sad and experience a sense of failure. Additionally, the child may experience insecurity in other areas of life.

Studies show that 23-36% of parents choose punishment as the first treatment option for coping with bedwetting.

Punishment has no role in treatment. One of the most important aspects of treatment is positive motivation. Motivation should be provided for the child to actively participate in the treatment. The timing and type of treatment are individual. The younger the child, the less motivation there will be. Therefore, it is crucial to provide appropriate explanations to the child and motivate them.

Medical treatment in Bedwetting: Imipramine is commonly used in the medical treatment of enuresis, along with desmopressin.

Behavioral treatments Record keeping and rewarding: Keeping a calendar and rewarding techniques are both motivating and responsibility-imposing methods in the treatment of enuresis. The child marks wet or dry nights on a calendar. These marks should definitely be made by the child themselves. If dry days are frequent during weekly check-ups, rewards are given (playing a game the child likes, etc.). Emotional rewards (praise, hugging, patting on the head, exaggerating their success, etc.) are more effective than concrete rewards (toys, food, etc.).

Fluid restriction and waking up at night: Restricting fluid intake before bedtime (tea, cola, watermelon, etc.) can reduce the amount of urine during sleep. Responsibility for fluid restriction should be given to the child. If children are awakened 1-1.5 hours after falling asleep to go to the bathroom, the success of fluid restriction increases. However, parents should not carry the child to the bathroom, but rather encourage the child to go to the bathroom themselves.

Bladder exercises: Suddenly stopping and resuming urination several times while urinating during the day can increase the tone of the sphincter muscles and make the child aware of bladder control. This method is understood to be more applicable to children over the age of 9.

Alarm device: An electronic bell device attached to the child’s underwear or bedspread is used.

The course of enuresis is generally positive. Although the problem decreases with age, it can persist during adolescence.

Children and families experiencing this problem can go through challenging periods. Therefore, physiological problems must be investigated, and it is recommended to consult a child mental health specialist.”


Çocuklarda Obsesif Kompulsif Bozukluk (OKB)

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in Children

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) in children is characterized by the constant and often prolonged repetition of certain movements or thoughts. Obsessions are recurring, disturbing, illogical thoughts, urges, or images that are recognized as unwanted but are resistant to efforts to distance oneself from them. Compulsions, on the other hand, are behaviors that emerge to reduce the anxiety caused by obsessions or are felt to be mandatory based on strict rules. In popular terms, obsessions are known as “anxiety, obsession, preoccupation,” and compulsions are known as “compulsion.”

Children experiencing this problem may have specific thoughts or themes that constantly repeat in their minds. For example, they may constantly worry about dirt or germs or have persistent anxiety about being clean and organized. Additionally, these children repeatedly engage in specific movements, almost ceremonially. For instance, they may wash their hands in a certain way for an extended period or organize their belongings in a very specific manner.

Of course, obsessive-compulsive disorder is not limited to just handwashing. It is related to thoughts and compulsions that cause anxiety, distress, and involve ritualistic behaviors that are believed to protect against harm. It is associated with incessant questioning, endless queries related to safety, certainty, maddening questions, heartbreaking concerns, etc.

Some children dealing with obsessive-compulsive disorder may have complex and comprehensive problems. Sometimes, these issues may be accompanied by various tics and neurological symptoms or manifest through highly unusual behaviors.

While obsessive-compulsive disorder may seem rare and unusual in our surroundings, research on children indicates that it is quite common in the community. The typical onset is between the ages of 9-12, and it occurs almost equally in boys and girls. When looking at the family, there is a high probability of seeing others experiencing similar problems.

Common obsessions include concerns about contamination and dirt, doubt, thoughts about something bad happening, thoughts related to illness and death, and thoughts related to sexuality or religion. Washing, checking, arranging, ordering, and repeating are common compulsions.

It is crucial not to overlook the possibility of other difficulties accompanying OCD. In many cases, other anxiety disorders, depression, or tic disorders may coexist.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a neurobiological problem. The cause is not you or your child. It may be due to genetic factors, structural changes in the brain, or neurochemical changes. Additionally, a stressful event can trigger it. However, more than half of the children with obsessive-compulsive disorder start without any specific cause, without encountering a triggering event.

It is necessary to differentiate some situations from obsessive-compulsive disorder. Small children in normal development may engage in repetitive behaviors. Developmental behaviors like these generally disappear around the age of 8. These behaviors can be done to overcome anxiety or socialize. However, obsessive-compulsive disorder increases anxiety and disrupts socialization. Superstitions can sometimes be confused, but children do not spend too much time on them, and functionality is not impaired.

Although it may seem like a rare and strange disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder is a common condition related to disruptions in brain chemistry and function. While it may appear as a stubborn disorder, it is a treatable condition.

Supporting the family, providing information to the child and family are crucial in the treatment. The family and the child need to understand what OCD is and what it is not, learn about the disease, and realize that unfortunately, it will not get better on its own, and the treatment may be challenging and lengthy.

Medication may be required in treatment. Research indicates that medication and psychotherapy are the most effective solutions.

Many children with OCD benefit from a treatment method called cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT involves contemplating and responding to obsessive thoughts and compulsions in OCD and teaches children new ways to respond to them. Thus, children learn to retrain their brains, get rid of obsessions, and learn new skills to deal with them.

The purpose of treatment is to teach children to live with obsessive-compulsive disorder thoughts and compulsions without exhibiting ritualistic behaviors. Ritualistic behaviors are behaviors such as checking, asking, repeating, and redoing. The two steps to reduce children’s sensitivity to obsessive-compulsive disorder are: not performing ritualistic behaviors and overcoming the tension that accompanies it until the feeling of distress decreases. By practicing response prevention and overcoming stress step by step, the power of OCD is reduced.

Children learn to overcome OCD with exercises and response prevention techniques. The primary goal of treatment is to teach children to live with obsessive-compulsive disorder thoughts and compulsions without exhibiting ritualistic behaviors. Ritualistic behaviors include checking, asking, repeating, and redoing. The two steps to reduce children’s sensitivity to obsessive-compulsive disorder are: not performing ritualistic behaviors and overcoming the tension that accompanies it until the feeling of distress decreases. By practicing response prevention and overcoming stress step by step, the power of OCD is reduced.

To apply these skills, the child must understand and master OCD. During the treatment process, parents must be the child’s coach, allowing them to learn effective tactics and encouraging them for success.

Give your child time to learn new concepts, and speak to them in the language they learn through discussions. Remember that fighting OCD is more challenging for your child than what they did before. Support and encourage your child throughout this process.”


korku kaygı ve çocukluk

Fear, Anxiety, and Children

Fear, Anxiety, and Children

Many children experience fear and anxiety as a normal part of their development. They exhibit similar fears at similar ages, and these fears tend to change as they grow. Fears such as fear of animals, spiders, water, darkness, and supernatural beings can emerge from early childhood. As children enter adolescence, concerns about what others think about them become more prominent.

When does fear become a problem?

Many childhood fears serve a protective function, making it challenging to distinguish between what is normal and abnormal. It’s important to pay attention to whether the child’s anxiety creates difficulties or avoidance in their life. For example, it might interfere with activities they enjoy or impact their school life. Another consideration is if, despite all efforts, the child cannot be comforted, and their attention cannot be diverted from their fear. Additionally, the irrationality of the fear concerning the child’s age and developmental level is another point to consider. For instance, it’s normal for a preschooler to fear monsters, but it would be considered irrational if the fear persists into adolescence.

What do children fear at different ages?

  • 0-2 years: Loud noises, strangers, separation from caregivers, injury, imaginary beings, sitting on the toilet.
  • 3-6 years: Animals, insects, loneliness, darkness.
  • 7-12 years: New environments, social rejection, school, illness, injury.
  • 13-18 years: New environments (high school, university), illness, fears related to sexuality are considered normal.

How does anxiety affect children?

Every child is unique, so their reactions to anxiety will differ. However, there are commonalities in the behaviors they might exhibit. Children experiencing anxiety may manifest it in their thoughts (such as fearing personal or familial injury), physically (resulting in stomachaches, headaches), and behaviorally (displaying restlessness, fidgeting, crying, trembling).

How should parents behave?

  • Try to understand your child and talk to them about their fears. Respect and do not belittle their fears and anxieties.
  • Avoid overreacting. Excessive attention when the child is anxious can reinforce their anxiety.
  • Do not be overly protective; do not allow the child to escape from what they fear. Otherwise, the child may not have the opportunity to realize that what they fear is not as dangerous as they think and that they are stronger than they believe.
  • Reward brave and fearless behaviors, no matter how small. Encourage and reward your child for displaying courageous behaviors.

When should you seek help?

If a child’s fear negatively impacts their daily life, activities, and performance, and if, despite your efforts, you cannot redirect their attention from their fear, it is advisable to seek help from a professional.


Nörogelişimsel Bozukluklar

Neurodevelopmental Disorders

Neurodevelopmental disorders encompass a group of differences and disorders that affect the development of the nervous system, leading to distinct functioning of the brain. Children with neurodevelopmental disorders may encounter challenges in language and speech, motor skills, memory, learning, impulse control, and social skills.

The effects of neurodevelopmental disorders tend to persist throughout a person’s life. While the symptoms may often change or develop as the child grows, some difficulties remain permanent. Diagnosis and treatment of these disorders can be challenging, especially as there are significant similarities in symptoms during the early stages. Treatment typically involves a combination of psychotherapy, educational support, medication, and home and school-based interventions.

Examples of neurodevelopmental disorders in children include attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, learning disabilities, intellectual disabilities, speech and language disorders, tic disorders, neurogenetic syndromes like Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, and visual and hearing impairments.

In the United States, a survey-based research study indicated that approximately 15% of children between the ages of 3 and 17 are affected by neurodevelopmental disorders. Therefore, it can be considered quite common. Among these, ADHD and learning difficulties are the most prevalent.

Neurodevelopmental disorders often coexist, necessitating a detailed evaluation for each specific disorder. For instance, about 4% of American children have both ADHD and learning difficulties.

Most neurodevelopmental disorders have complex and multiple causes, rather than a single clear reason. These disorders arise from a combination of genetic, biological, psychosocial, and environmental risk factors.


Kendine İyi Bakmanın Önemi Kendini Önceliklendirme ve Öz-Bakım Pratikleri

The Importance of Self-Care: Prioritizing Yourself and Self-Care Practices

Taking care of oneself is a vital behavior to maintain our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, when we prioritize the needs of others before our own, there may be a tendency to neglect our own needs, adversely affecting our lives. However, paying attention to our bodies, health, and happiness allows us to feel better in the long run. Taking care of oneself is an expression of self-love, self-worth, and prioritizing your own needs.

One of the most important things we can do to take care of ourselves is to prioritize ourselves. Prioritizing oneself is a way of identifying one’s own needs and goals and giving priority to these needs and goals. The first step in prioritizing oneself is to know oneself; knowing your desires, goals, expectations, and motivations in life and acting accordingly. This allows you to lead a more balanced life, reduce stress, increase happiness, and help you achieve a healthier and more satisfying life in the long run.

Another way to take care of yourself is through self-care practices. These practices include activities that support your physical, mental, and emotional health. Self-care practices carried out in daily life help you feel better and increase your quality of life.

Here are some self-care practices you can adopt to take better care of yourself:

  1. Allocate Time for Yourself: Finding activities that make you feel good and dedicating time to these activities is an important self-care practice. Engaging in hobbies, taking walks, or reading books contribute to taking time for yourself.
  2. Exercise: Physical activity helps keep your body healthy and strong while positively affecting your mental health. It reduces stress and increases the release of hormones such as endorphins and serotonin that contribute to feeling good. Discovering an exercise you love and incorporating it into your life helps take care of yourself.
  3. Healthy Eating: Eating a balanced and regular diet strengthens your immune system and positively affects both your physical and psychological health, helping you feel better.
  4. Sleep Routine: Adequate and quality sleep is essential for your mental and physical well-being. Paying attention to your sleep routine and improving your sleep habits increases your quality of life.
  5. Breath Exercises and Mindfulness: Breath exercises and mindfulness practices are crucial to resting our minds and creating a space for ourselves to enjoy the moment amidst the rush of life. Redirecting your attention to your breath at certain times during the day can intensify the experience of being present and create an opportunity for your mind to rest.
  6. Time Management: Efficiently managing your time reduces stress and allows you to allocate more time to yourself. Prioritizing tasks and taking regular breaks is important for time management and helps create opportunities for spending time with yourself.
  7. Social Relationships: Social relationships improve your mental health and provide psychological support. Spending time with loved ones is one of the best self-care practices.

Taking care of yourself, prioritizing yourself, and practicing self-care are crucial to improving your mental, physical, and emotional health. It prevents you from feeling exhausted, elevates your level of psychological well-being, and supports you in establishing more fulfilling and healthy relationships.



Clinical Psychologist

University: Başkent University,

Department of Psychology Expertise: Atılım University Clinical Psychology Master’s Program

Psikolojik Dayanıklılık Zorluklarla Başa Çıkmanın Gücü

Psychological Resilience: The Power of Coping with Challenges

When we talk about psychological resilience, negative events usually come to mind first. However, throughout life, despite experiencing many events that cause anxiety, stress, and concern, these are not always negative or unwanted situations. Sometimes, even when eagerly awaited, certain situations can be challenging when they occur. Therefore, psychological distress does not only lead to feeling sad and sorrowful but can also be psychologically challenging when anxiety and stress are strong or prolonged.

One of the most important requirements for an individual’s psychological resilience is to have cognitive flexibility. This is the ability to look at events from a different perspective, try to see the existing situation with a broader perspective without being stuck in a certain thought, and the ability to think about alternatives. Our minds expect everything to be in a certain way to cope with anxiety. Flexibility, on the other hand, is the ability of our minds, which are sure of what they think is right, to ask the question ‘what if?’ and to question whether another explanation or another way is possible.

Usually, we see the events we encounter as they pass through our own mental filter. The effect and the emotions and behaviors that the event creates on us vary according to the meaning we attribute to the event. If our way of thinking is rigid, if we have certain unchanging, absolute truths in our relationship with the world, this situation weakens our psychological resilience and can make our lives more difficult.

However, having a flexible structure in our minds facilitates our adaptation. Everyone has certain needs, and when these needs are not met, it is normal to experience feelings of anxiety, disappointment, stress, and disruption of well-being. However, how we cope with these challenging experiences and how we are affected is closely related to our psychological resilience. We often think that if we are psychologically healthy, we should not be affected by challenging experiences, but being psychologically resilient does not mean not being affected by an event or continuing life as if nothing has happened when we are very scared or sad.

Sometimes during our life, there may be times when our resources are insufficient, and we feel that our coping power is exceeded. The intensity and duration of these difficulties can vary from person to person, and even the coping ability of the same person may differ with similar events. There is no single way or method to deal with psychologically challenging situations, just as there is no single form of psychological distress. However, it is necessary to think about what will make it easier for us to get up again in the difficult times and how we can be more psychologically resilient. At this point, it is important to reconsider our way of thinking, our behaviors, our emotions, and our relationship with the world.

Psychological resilience should be thought of as a set of characteristics that can be developed rather than a personality trait. As your psychological resilience increases, you become able to meet your own needs in the face of life’s challenges and, as a result, achieve more well-being. Psychological resilience is not a result, but a dynamic process, and since it has a structure that can be reviewed, developed, and activated over time, it is always possible to increase psychological resilience.



Resilience, Dr. Rick Hanson Psychological Resilience,

Prof. Dr. Ayşe Bilge Selçuk



Clinical Psychologist

University: Haliç University, Faculty of Arts and Sciences, Department of Psychology

Specialization: Haliç University, Graduate School of Social Sciences, Department of Clinical Psychology (Thesis)

Depresyon ve İş Performansı İş Hayatında Depresyonla Nasıl Başa Çıkılır

Depression and Work Performance: How to Cope with Depression in the Workplace?

Depression, under the concept of melancholy, has come as one of the oldest terms in the realm of mental disorders. Hippocrates explained the biological origins of depression, suggesting its connection to an increase in black bile around 400 BC (Türkçapar, 2009). Complaints associated with depression can manifest in various forms, including disturbing mood, changes in attitudes towards life, and unreal physical symptoms accompanying depression (Beck, 1967). Research indicates that depression is less prevalent in men compared to women (Ustün, 1999; Weissman and Klerman, 1977). Biologically, genetic and hormonal gender differences may contribute to this phenomenon. In women, hormonal changes during periods like premenstrual, postpartum, and menopausal periods, as seen from a genetic perspective, make them more susceptible to depression. After adolescence, the femininity hormones in women, such as estrogen, progesterone, and other related hormones, increase the vulnerability to depression (Nolen-Hoeksema, 1990).

Depression is a highly complex mental disorder concerning its formation, progression, and treatment. Depression cannot be solely explained by emotional distress. Depression is defined as a syndrome encompassing a set of symptoms, including a deep mood with disturbing emotions, slowing of thinking, talking, and movements, lethargy, inattention and inability to focus, lack of interest and motivation, feelings of worthlessness, self-blame, pessimistic feelings, and thoughts, along with a slowing of physiological functionality (Şireli, 2016).


When depression is defined by its fundamental characteristics:

1.Specific changes in mood: apathy (indifference to surroundings), loneliness, and sadness 2.

2.Negative self-thoughts associated with self-blame and self-condemnation

3Regressive desires and tendencies toward self-punishment: avoidance, hiding, or death

4.Vegetative changes: sleep problems, loss of libido, and anorexia

5.Differentiation in activity level: reduced performance, agitation (Beck, 1967).


Coping recommendations:

  1. Depression is mostly built on the past. Reflecting on past events does not necessarily lift us from our current situation. First, we should return to the present and observe what is happening around us. Then, we can review what we can do moving forward.
  2. We can pay attention to our sleep routine. Especially during depressive periods, oversleeping or insufficient sleep may become an issue. If we try to meet our daily sleep needs too much or too little, it can make mental recovery more challenging. Therefore, even if it’s difficult, we can try to keep our sleep routine as regular as possible.
  3. Especially during depressive periods, our eating behaviors may vary. We can create instant effects on our mood by either eating very little or eating too much. While this may make us feel good in the short term, in the long run, it can lead to an unhealthy situation. In this context, it is important to keep eating behavior within normal limits and establish a regular eating routine.
  4. Avoiding social areas and our routines is another factor that perpetuates depression. Distancing ourselves from these areas due to problems in work life can sustain depression. What we need is to try to bring back the things we always do, even if we struggle, to its old routine. If our life returns to its old routine, we can make healthier assessments of the current situation and make new decisions.
  5. Exercising will benefit us both mentally and physically. A short walk during the day allows us to review ourselves and our thoughts. Additionally, we can benefit both physically and mentally from the positive gains brought by physical activation.
  6. We can use relaxation techniques and meditation to distance ourselves from the weight of the current situation and make a healthy assessment of the situation.
  7. Self-care is important during this process. We can maintain the care routines that made us feel good before. Engaging in self-care activities, especially sports and activities that make us feel good (makeup, personal care, hygiene, etc.), can be an important solution in combating depression.
  8. Trying to overcome the current situation on our own and not sharing our feelings with anyone can trigger a sharper and harsher experience. We can seek help from our surroundings and share the situation to cope with the problems.


Depression is more rooted in the past. Reflecting on past events does not lift us from the current situation. We should first return to the present and observe what is happening around us. Afterward, we can reconsider what we can do.



Beck, A. T. (1967). Depression: Clinical, experimental, and theoretical aspects. New York: Harper and Row. Şireli, Ö., Soykan, A. A. (2016). Investigation of adolescents with depression in terms of parental acceptance-rejection perceptions and family functions. Journal of Psychiatry, 17(5), 403-410. Türkçapar, H. (2009). Depression: Cognitive-behavioral therapy in clinical applications. Ankara: HYB. Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (1990). Sex differences in depression. Stanford, CA: Stanford University. Ustün, T. B. (1999). Cross-national epidemiology of depression and gender. The journal of gender-specific medicine: JGSM: the official journal of the Partnership for Women’s Health at Columbia, 3, 54-58 Weissman, M. M., Klerman, G. L. (1977). Sex differences and the epidemiology of depression. Archives of general psychiatry, 34, 98-111.


Yakup Anıl ÖZDEMİR

Clinical Psychologist

University: Istanbul Commerce University, Department of Psychology

Specialization: Işık University Clinical Psychology Master’s Program (With Scholarship for Success and Honors)Formun Üstü


Öfke Kontrolü Sağlıklı İçsel Dengeye Ulaşma Yolu

Anger Management: Path to Achieving Healthy Inner Balance

Anger is a powerful emotion that all of us experience from time to time. It is a understandable reaction to various triggers such as disappointment or perceived injustice. While anger itself is not inherently negative, how we manage and express it can significantly impact our relationships, mental health, and overall quality of life. While anger can motivate individuals to defend their boundaries, protect themselves or others, and address injustices, if left unchecked, it can also lead to impulsive or aggressive behaviors. In this article, we will explore the concept of anger management, its importance, and practical strategies to effectively balance our relationship with anger.


Understanding Anger

Anger can manifest in various forms such as irritation, intolerance, aggression, or violence. It often arises when we feel threatened, unjustly treated, or frustrated. While feeling anger is normal, expressing it in an uncontrolled or harmful manner can have destructive consequences for both the individual and those around them. Unexpressed anger can harm relationships and impair decision-making abilities, affecting both physical and psychological well-being.


The Importance of Expressing Anger Appropriately

Learning how to express anger correctly is crucial for personal development and maintaining healthy relationships with others. Uncontrolled anger can lead to verbal or physical conflicts. On the other hand, appropriately expressed anger can be a powerful tool for communication, conflict resolution, and personal empowerment.


Anger Management Strategies

Identify Triggers:

Understanding what triggers your anger is the first step in managing it effectively. Keeping a journal of situations or events that trigger your anger, along with your reactions and emotions, can help you become more aware of your triggers.


Practice Deep Breathing and Relaxation Techniques:

When anger begins to build up, take deep breaths to calm yourself. Utilize relaxation techniques such as meditation or progressive muscle relaxation to reduce the physiological effects of anger.


Take a Break:

If you feel your anger intensifying, take a step back from the situation. Taking a short break can provide the space needed to regain composure and approach the situation more rationally.


Reframe Negative Thoughts:

Consider alternative perspectives or reasons behind someone’s behavior that may help you see the situation more objectively. You can note down your thoughts about a situation and generate alternative thoughts for the same event.



Instead of resorting to aggressive or passive-aggressive communication, strive for active and effective communication. Actively listen to the other person’s perspective while expressing your feelings and needs in a clear and respectful manner.


Engage in Physical Activities:

Regular exercise can help reduce stress and support emotional balance. Allocating time for hobbies, maintaining social connections, participating in self-care activities that promote overall well-being can serve as healthy outlets for accumulated anger and tension.


Use Humor:

While anger management and humor may not seem like an obvious pair, injecting humor into tense situations can help you see things from a different perspective. Adding humor to tense moments can act as an icebreaker, calming anger and promoting understanding, thereby reducing conflicts.


Seek Support:

If you find it challenging to manage your anger on your own, seek support from friends, family, or a professional counselor. Insights, guidance, and having a safe space to express your emotions can be beneficial.

It should be remembered that anger management is a complex process. To keep anger in check, it is crucial to identify underlying reasons, determine triggers, and develop personalized strategies. If you or someone you know is struggling with anger management, seeking professional help is recommended. An expert can provide a thorough assessment, create a tailored treatment plan, and guide you through the process of managing anger more effectively.



Clinical Psychologist

University: Istanbul Bilim University – Psychology

Specialization: Uskudar University – Clinical Psychology Department


From Yesterday to Today: Sexual Myths

As living beings, we require various resources to sustain our lives. In order to identify human needs, various studies have been conducted, and in 1943, Abraham H. Maslow introduced the “Hierarchy of Needs” into the literature. The hierarchy of needs consists of 5 levels, and Maslow argued that we move on to the next level when the needs at the relevant level are met. These needs are as follows:

Level: Physiological Needs

Level: Safety Needs Level: Love and Belongingness

Level: Esteem Needs

Level: Self-Actualization

At the 1st level, we see physiological needs. Physiological needs include breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping, and sexual needs. So, why is sexuality, which is a basic need like eating and drinking, stigmatized, not openly discussed, and even ignored in our lives? Let’s start by understanding what sexuality is; the World Health Organization defines sexuality as “a phenomenon arising from the composition of enriching effects on personality, interpersonal communication, and love, derived from physical, emotional, intellectual, and social aspects.” Sexuality is directly or indirectly influenced by psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, legal, historical, religious, and biological factors. Due to the cultural structure of the geography we live in, our ways of acquiring information about sexuality are quite limited. Our sources of acquiring sexual knowledge during adolescence are listed as follows in research:


*families (mostly from older siblings),


*internet, newspapers, magazines, and pornographic publications.

It has been observed that the information acquired during adolescence can lead to misinformation, emotional conflicts such as anger, fear, anxiety, guilt in adulthood. These misconceptions about sexuality have led to the formation of various myths in the worlds of adolescents (not only adolescents but also adults).

The literal meaning of the myth is defined as a folk tale, a concept or person that is traditionally transmitted or undergoes a symbolic expression influenced by the imagination of society. Sexual myths can be defined as attitudes and judgments that individuals think are correct about sexuality, mostly exaggerated, without scientific basis, and that restrict the free experience of sexuality, in a wrong, stereotyped way. Sexual myths are commonly seen in society. They vary between cultures and societies and also among individuals. We see that sexual myths are transmitted from generation to generation, especially in cultures and societies with a cultural, traditional, and closed structure. Thus, we witness that these myths become more widespread. With the widespread myths, individuals may enter into unrealistic expectations, feel inadequate as a result of expectations, and various anxiety disorders and sexual dysfunction may occur.


Common Sexual Myths in Our Society

*Menopause eliminates sexual desire.

*Sexuality ends with old age.

*Intercourse should not be performed during pregnancy; it harms the baby.

* Masturbation is dirty and harmful.

*Men are always ready for sex and want sex at any moment.

*The one who initiates the sexual intercourse, manages it during sex, and knows everything is the man.

*To show masculinity and sexual power, one must frequently engage in sexual intercourse.

*If a man has an erection problem, it is because he does not find the woman attractive.

*The size of a man’s penis is directly related to the level of pleasure obtained.

*Talking should not be done during sexual intercourse as it will distract.

*Sexual intercourse should only end with both parties having an orgasm.

*Sexual intercourse means penetration.

*Women have low sexual desire.

*A woman who initiates sex is immoral.

*Every man should know how to pleasure any woman.

*A man or woman should never say no to sex.

*If a sexual problem occurs once, it means it will recur.

*The first sexual intercourse is very challenging for women. It can be dangerous for women.

*If there is no bleeding during the first sexual intercourse, the woman is not a virgin.

*Kissing, touching, and similar closeness can result in pregnancy.

*Spouses who are in sexual intercourse instinctively know what the other thinks and wants. *Intercourse should always be natural and spontaneous; talking about, thinking about, or fantasizing about it disrupts it.

*An aroused man should ejaculate; if not, it is harmful.

*All physical closeness should end with intercourse.

*The desire for sexual intercourse should always be expressed by the man.

Due to the widespread myths, individuals may have unrealistic expectations. When these unrealistic expectations affect our mental health and sexual life, seeking psychological support will ensure a healthier life.



Clinical Psychologist

University: Istanbul Aydın University, Faculty of Arts and Sciences, Department of Psychology (With Honors)

Expertise: Istanbul Sabahattin Zaim University, Institute of Social Sciences, Clinical Psychology


Dil ve Konuşma Terapisi Nedir

What is Speech and Language Therapy?

Speech and language therapy is a therapeutic approach used in the prevention, assessment, diagnosis, and intervention of communication disorders. It assists individuals in improving their communication and language skills. Speech and language therapy can be applied to both adults and children, addressing various speech problems and communication disorders such as speech repetitions and partial speech loss due to brain damage. The therapy encompasses the rehabilitation of swallowing, speech, language, and communication disorders and should be administered by specialized therapists.

What Are Communication Disorders?

Communication refers to the verbal or non-verbal behavior that facilitates the transfer of information, emotions, and thoughts between individuals. Communication disorders affect the ability to perceive, receive, process, and comprehend the concepts or symbols necessary for communication. These disorders may include difficulties in understanding language, speech, social cues, facial expressions, gestures, or emotional perception. Communication disorders are generally categorized into five groups (DSM-V).

Language Disorder:

Difficulty in understanding and using spoken, written, or sign language.

Speech Sound Disorder:

Difficulty in producing speech sounds that hinder effective communication or make understanding challenging.

Childhood-Onset Fluency Disorder (Stuttering):

A communication disorder characterized by disruptions in speech fluency, such as repetitions of sounds and syllables, prolongation of sounds, interjections, breaking words into parts, vocal or silent blocks, finding alternative words to avoid difficult ones, tension during speech, and repeating single-syllable words.

Social (Pragmatic) Communication Disorder:

Difficulty in understanding and using verbal and non-verbal communication for social purposes.

Unspecified Communication Disorder:

Communication disorders that cause significant distress, impairment in social or occupational functioning, but do not precisely meet the criteria for any specific communication disorder.


Techniques Used in Speech and Language Therapy

Various speech therapy techniques are employed for each of the areas mentioned above, with each therapy program tailored individually. Exercises targeting specific sounds and improving speech fluency, as well as exercises for breathing, swallowing, and enhancing voice, may be utilized. For children, therapy programs often involve the use of toys, illustrated cards, and books. Consistent application of these techniques at home is crucial for the long-term effectiveness of therapy.

How Long Does Speech and Language Therapy Take?

There is no standard duration for speech and language therapy as it varies from person to person based on factors such as age, severity of the problem, participation in sessions, and regular completion of assignments. Early interventions tend to yield results more quickly compared to interventions in adulthood.


Betigül BARAN

Clinical Psychologist


Altınbaş University, English Psychology Department

Altınbaş University, English Sociology Department (Double Major)


Istanbul Kent University, Clinical Psychology


Depresyonun Gençler Üzerindeki Etkileri ve Ergenlik Döneminde Destek

Effects of Depression on Adolescents and Support During the Adolescence Period

Adolescence is a period of rapid and intense changes in young individuals, accompanied by hormonal changes as they search for their own identities. Consequently, increased questioning about life is observed during adolescence. Adolescents often experience feelings of unhappiness, loneliness, and helplessness during this period. Serious problems in controlling their anger are also noted. Sleep and appetite problems may accompany these rapid mood changes. They may prefer to be alone most of the time and have significantly low energy levels throughout the day. Due to the low energy levels, these young individuals may often not want to do anything during the day. Additionally, concentrating on a task for an extended period can be challenging. These situations in adolescents can indicate the presence of depression symptoms. In addition to depression symptoms, negative body image, low self-esteem, thoughts of self-harm, and suicidal ideation may also be present. They can often dwell excessively on past events and actions, or inactions.

Depression in adolescents can lead to personal problems and negatively impact their relationships. They often distance themselves from family and friendships. Academic performance at school may suffer. They may display overly sensitive behavior to comments made by others, feeling guilty about these remarks. Thoughts of not belonging to a group in relationships can coexist with fears of rejection and abandonment. Within their relationships, they may question their own values and perceive themselves as worthless.

The rate of depression in adolescents is reported to be 4.7% (Kashani, Carlson, and Beck, 1987). The frequency of depression does not differ in terms of age, gender, or economic level among adolescents. Both genetic and environmental factors play a role in the causes of depression in adolescents. The occurrence of depression in the parents of adolescents can increase the likelihood of its occurrence in the adolescents themselves. Additionally, experiences of neglect and abuse during childhood, negative parenting attitudes, exposure to peer bullying, grief processes, and medical problems can increase the risk of depression. Furthermore, adolescents with depression may also experience a decrease in serotonin levels in their brains.

Given all these symptoms and causes, early intervention during adolescence is crucial. Without early intervention, adolescents may face similar problems in adulthood. Intervening during adolescence is important to prevent the impact of these issues on individuals’ later lives. If depression symptoms are present during adolescence, professional support should not be neglected. Whether the symptoms shown by adolescents are due to normal emotional changes in adolescence or depression should be determined with professional help. The most important determining factor here is the frequency and duration of the symptoms shown by adolescents. Many adolescents may feel depressed at some point in their lives. If these symptoms begin to affect the individual’s daily life, the risk of depression should be addressed through psychological and psychiatric assessments. In such cases, a treatment plan involving psychotherapy and medications should be implemented. Adolescents may sometimes reject treatment or may not even have the energy to come for treatment. In such cases, working with the adolescent’s family can help plan the treatment. In addition, for adolescents who are open to treatment, cognitive and behavioral interventions can be applied to address their existing negative feelings and thoughts, and efforts can be made to enhance their daily functionality with social skills and activities.


Kashani J.H., Carlson G.A., & Beck N. (1987). Depression, depressive symptoms, and depressive mood among a community sample of adolescents. Am J Psychiatry, 144, 931-934. doi: 10.1176/ajp.144.7.931



Clinical Psychologist


Hacettepe University, Faculty of Arts, Psychology (High Honors Student), 2016

Hacettepe University, Faculty of Arts, Sociology (Minor), 2016


Ankara University, Institute of Health Sciences, Interdisciplinary Family Counseling (High Honors Student), 2021

Ankara Yıldırım Beyazıt University, Institute of Social Sciences, Clinical Psychology (High Honors Student), 2021

Travma Acı Anıları Silmek Mümkün Mü

Trauma: Is it Possible to Erase Painful Memories?

From the moment we are born, we seek to understand and make sense of the world around us. Frequently, especially during certain age groups of our children, we hear questions like “What is this? What is it for? Why does this exist?” All of these arise from our need for knowledge. When we learn something, these experiences are stored in networks created by brain cells called neurons. Similar networks are interconnected. To give a simple example: when we learn fruits such as strawberries, cherries, plums, and oranges, our brains will categorize them under the fruit category. What will happen when we encounter mango or pineapple? If we learn that these are also fruits, we will associate them with fruits. But what if we cannot associate something with any experience? We call this, in its simplest form, trauma. In other words, trauma is the inability to relate a newly acquired experience to past experiences and/or the individual’s coping mechanisms being inadequate for this experience.

Traumas may not only occur due to major disasters, wars, accidents, or exposure to abuse/assault, as we traditionally think. Just witnessing these events can also lead to trauma. Sometimes, it is having thoughts like ‘I am not loved’ that come to mind when we feel neglected or constantly believing that we will be ‘abandoned’ by our partner during arguments. When we think about traumatic moments or experience flashbacks, it is painful for us. While it may not be possible to erase painful memories, desensitizing to the painful memories is possible with EMDR.

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Due to the structure of our brain, it receives disturbing experiences, and processes occur during Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. However, our brain cannot perform this necessary processing in the case of trauma. Even if years pass, a trigger (which can be an image, a sound, or a smell) that reminds us of the traumatic event can take us back to the time of that event. And we experience exactly what we went through during the traumatic event.

The goal of EMDR is to essentially enable the reprocessing of freely circulating traumatic experiences/memories of the individual. These reprocessed memories are associated with our other past experiences. As a result, individuals no longer exhibit negative (emotional, physical, cognitive) reactions when they remember traumatic experiences; they become desensitized to the traumatic memory.

EMDR therapy consists of 8 stages and is three-pronged (past, present, future). The 8 stages are as follows:

  1. History-Taking and Treatment Planning: Suitable history-taking for EMDR, identification of existing problems, planning of therapy.
  2. Preparation: Introduction of EMDR, application of stabilization techniques.
  3. Assessment: Determination of the target memory (identification of negative cognition, emotions, discomfort level, and where it is felt in the body).
  4. Desensitization: Desensitization is performed using bilateral stimulation (BLS).
  5. Installation: This stage involves placing a positive cognition.
  6. Body Scan: After desensitizing the target memory, a body scan is performed by visualizing it.
  7. Closing: Evaluation of the session is done, and the client leaves the session in a stable state.
  8. Reevaluation: The previous session’s positive results are checked, and new data from the client is evaluated. Based on this, working with other memories begins.

Issues Addressed with EMDR:

  • Attachment Issues
  • Complex Trauma & Dissociation
  • Depression
  • Anxiety Disorders
  • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
  • Panic Disorder
  • Personality Disorders
  • Pain Disorders
  • Eating Disorders
  • Sexual/Physical Abuse
  • Phobias
  • Sexual Dysfunction
  • Grief

According to EMDR, many psychological and psychosomatic disorders have unprocessed memories at their core. If you have difficulties coping with your emotions and are triggered in places, situations, or with people that you cannot understand, you may have traumatic experiences. Seeking psychological support where it negatively affects your daily life will contribute to living a healthier and more functional life.



Clinical Psychologist


Istanbul Aydin University, Faculty of Arts and Sciences, Department of Psychology (With Honors)


Istanbul Sabahattin Zaim University, Institute of Social Sciences, Clinical Psychology


Depresyon Nedir ve Depresyon Yaşayan Kişiyi Anlamak

What is Depression and Understanding Someone with Depression

Depression is a psychiatric disorder where individuals feel unhappy, pessimistic, worthless, guilty, and hopeless. It can be accompanied by sleep and appetite problems, fatigue, and a lack of sexual desire. People experiencing depression find it difficult to derive pleasure from life, feel disinterested even in activities they used to enjoy, and may also exhibit slowed movements and self-care issues, along with attention and memory problems. In advanced stages of depression, individuals may lose their functionality, struggle to carry on with daily tasks, and thoughts and actions related to suicide may arise. Therefore, it is crucial to treat the person’s depression through psychotherapy and, if necessary, psychiatric intervention. In the treatment of depression, the importance of social support is as significant as the necessity of psychotherapy and medication. The thought processes and perceptions of individuals experiencing depression are distorted, negative, and pessimistic. Therefore, the behavior of the person’s close ones and social environment is crucial.

So, How Should You Act Towards Someone with Depression?

Firstly, take depression seriously, and avoid saying phrases like “it’s all in your mind, you have control over everything.” Understand and care about the feelings of someone struggling with depression and support them in expressing their emotions. Individuals with depression may not want to leave the house; visit them frequently without pressure and listen to them. People experiencing depression may find it challenging to do even small things. Help them with these small tasks. Most importantly, encourage the person with depression to seek help. Depression is a significant psychiatric illness, and no matter how much support you provide, it is crucial to remember that depression cannot heal without professional assistance. What Can Someone with Depression Do to Feel Better?

They can engage in walks, meet the basic self-care needs even if they don’t feel like it, and incorporate small activities into their lives, even if they have to push themselves. Express their emotions and talk to trusted individuals about their concerns. Set small goals instead of significant ones. However, it’s crucial to note that all these suggestions serve as support and are not sufficient or curative, especially for someone experiencing severe depression. Individuals with depression must seek psychotherapeutic support.


Nagihan KUTLU

Clinical Psychologist


Işık University, Department of Psychology


Işık University, Clinical Psychology


Kumar Bağımlılığı Ve Tedavisi

Gambling Addiction and Its Treatment

Gambling disorder is characterized by the inability to control gambling behavior, leading to unwanted and persistent gambling activities that disrupt individual, familial, or occupational functionality. In recent years, with the increased use of the internet, gambling disorder has been observed to rise even more due to online gambling activities (Yeşilay, 2021).

Gambling, briefly, is the act of playing games of chance for money or other gains. There are three elements in gambling:

Bet: The amount wagered as the cost of playing.

Uncertainty: The outcome of the game is unpredictable or not guaranteed.

Risk: The value of the bet is at risk because of the uncertain outcome. Gambling addiction is often associated with increased amounts of money spent on betting, the inability to stop gambling behavior, persistent thoughts about gambling, gambling taking precedence over other interests and daily activities, and continuing to gamble despite negative consequences.

The DSM-5 Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines gambling disorder as follows:

Increasingly larger amounts of money spent on gambling

Withdrawal symptoms (restlessness, irritability)

Unsuccessful attempts to stop gambling

Constantly thinking about gambling

Gambling while experiencing distress (feeling desperate, guilty, overwhelmed, depressed)

Playing to win back what was lost

Lying about gambling

Negative impact on social relationships, work, or education

Dependence on others for financial support to overcome financial problems caused by gambling

Among the risk factors are male gender, starting gambling activities at a young age, geographical location, low socioeconomic status, co-occurring psychiatric diagnoses, family history of gambling, alcohol, and substance use disorders, adverse childhood experiences. The risk of suicide in gambling addiction is high, with suicidal ideation ranging from 17-80%, and at least one suicide attempt ranging from 4-23% (Ogel, Guliyev, Tekin, 2023).

In the treatment of gambling addiction, both outpatient and inpatient treatment options are available. Outpatient treatments may include individual therapy, group therapy, family therapy, family group therapy, self-help groups, and pharmacological treatment. In outpatient treatments, behavioral addictions are addressed during psychotherapy sessions, and the treatment compliance of both the individual and the family is crucial. The process is maintained through regular individual sessions and group therapies. The duration of treatment is recommended to be long-term, and the frequency of sessions is determined based on the severity of the disorder. Interventions cover various aspects such as the biological aspect of addiction, treatment motivation, cognitive distortions of the individual, relapse prevention, life organization, and personality characteristics (Ogel, Guliyev, Tekin, 2023).


Clinical Psychologist

University: Istanbul Sabahattin Zaim University, Faculty of Arts and Sciences, Department of Psychology (High Honor Degree)

Specialization: Istanbul Sabahattin Zaim University, Institute of Social Sciences, Department of Psychology, Clinical Psychology


Otizm Ve Asperger Sendromu

Autism And Asperger’s Syndrome

Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder whose symptoms begin to appear in early childhood. In recent studies, it is mentioned that this disorder occurs as a result of the interaction of both genetic and environmental factors. Among the most important symptoms of autism are inadequate communication skills, reluctance/inability to relate and interact with people, and repetitive behaviors. Asperger’s syndrome is thought to be one of the types of high-functioning autism. Although the symptoms of Asperger’s syndrome are similar to those of other autism disorders, the symptoms are usually milder.

Individuals with Asperger’s syndrome have been observed to have average or above-average language and intelligence abilities. For this reason, a child with Asperger’s syndrome may not be noticed by their families at an early age as autism, which often has severe symptoms due to well-developed aspects.

What qualities do individuals with Asperger’s syndrome have?

The cognitive levels of these individuals are generally normal or bright; Some of them have very special abilities.

Unlike most autistic people, they are enthusiastic about human relations, but mostly want to establish relationships in line with their own interests.

Most of them learn to make close friends at a late age, not being able to read the feelings of the other person, difficulty in understanding their intentions, fatigue and avoidance in intense social environments.

They have good verbal skills and a particularly strong knowledge of their interests, but have difficulty understanding even simple suggestive words or simple conversations necessary for basic social norms.

They adhere to their own routines and rituals and often have developed interests.

Low or high sensitivity is seen in sensory areas.

So how can parents support their children with asperger’s syndrome?

As a parent, consistency is a top priority. Parents should be consistent in both their attitudes and behaviors and in keeping with the family routine and schedule. Making household chores consistent, routine and predictable reduces the child’s confusion and anxiety and facilitates positive behavior.

Individuals with Asperger’s syndrome have a strong memory and the capacity to follow rules. These features make them successful in implementing routines. Routines such as daily program and morning program can be created by making use of visual elements, especially at a young age.

The implementation of the routines and rules applied at home in other environments and by individuals will facilitate the establishment of some social rules.

If your child is confused and cannot understand a situation, you can divide the work into parts, explain the steps by simplifying them again, or you can make the child’s practice easier by providing visual support for the work to be done.

You can leave the environments where your child is overwhelmed and overstimulated, or you can shorten the time spent there. If this is not possible, you can avoid more stimulating situations in the environment (for example, staying away from the sound area).

If your child wants to get closer with their peers, it can be arranged to get together with others for smaller, one-on-one or certain preferred activities primarily to support social skills.

There is no definite cure for Asperger’s syndrome. In most individuals, with early intervention and appropriate guidance for relational, communicative, emotional and behavioral problems, it is possible to gain skills and prevent emotional and behavioral problems, and positive developments are observed.

However, learning social skills takes time, so it may be beneficial for the development of the child to be patient and get support from a mental health professional working in this field.


Autism from Infancy to Adult

Beyond Diagnosis Asperger’s and Autism

Winter Depression - Madalyon Psikiyatri Merkezi

Winter Depression

Also known as winter depression, seasonal affective disorder or seasonal depression; It is a psychological disease that is triggered by the change of seasons, especially in autumn and winter, where the interest and desire of the person decreases, his thoughts, feelings and behaviors are negatively affected. Lack of sunlight, low temperatures, short days and being in closed environments all the time have negative effects on many people and cause depression. Considering the biological factors in the formation of winter depression, the changes in the levels of serotonin and melatonin in the brain are remarkable. These two hormones play an important role in the sleep and wake cycle of humans and in regulating energy and mood.

Melatonin is a sleep-related hormone; In the dark, the body tends to secrete more melatonin, and the increase in this release causes sleepiness and fatigue in the person. The hormone serotonin, also known as the happiness hormone, positively affects the mood of the person; It makes the person feel happier and calmer. Shortening of days, reduced daylight and long dark hours in autumn and winter cause an increase in melatonin levels and a decrease in serotonin release. These episodes of depression usually coincide with the same season, and when the weather starts to warm up again, a complete recovery is observed in people.

Although its prevalence in Turkey is not known exactly, the frequency of seasonal depression symptoms varies between 4% and 8% in scientific studies. These symptoms, which usually increase in the autumn and winter months;

  • Disruption in sleep patterns (usually excessive sleepiness and difficulty waking up in the morning),
  • Increase or decrease in appetite (increase in weight gain because carbohydrate foods are often preferred),
  • Low energy level and general reluctance
  • A general loss of interest and no longer enjoyment of activities previously enjoyed
  • Withdrawal from social life
  • Having a sad and unhappy mood almost all day,
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • It manifests itself as a feeling of guilt and worthlessness.

What can be done to prevent winter depression or reduce the severity of symptoms?

  • You can take walks in the open air (which will take at least 30 minutes during the day).
  • It can be beneficial to use daylight bulbs that give light in a style closest to natural sunlight for lighting at home and in the workplace.
  • It may be beneficial to avoid carbohydrate-heavy and high-sugar foods during the day and to create a diet that includes more lean, protein and vitamin-rich foods.
  • Doing sports regularly will help you feel more vigorous and sleep more comfortably.
  • You can benefit more from sunlight in a sleep pattern where you go to bed early at night and wake up early in the morning.

If the severity of your winter depression still does not decrease despite trying all these, and it causes deterioration in your family, school and work life, it would be useful to consult a mental health specialist to determine psychotherapy, psychiatric support or other coping strategies.

Çocukluk Çağı Mastürbasyonu

Childhood Masturbation

Masturbation behavior is an extremely natural and healthy process for the development of children. Children start to touch their own bodies in a way that they enjoy from an early age when they start to explore their bodies. This behavior is more common in children between the ages of 3 and 6 years. The child, who discovers this pleasure sometimes by chance and sometimes consciously, can stimulate himself by touching it with his hand or by rubbing with the help of another object such as a pillow in order to experience the pleasure he feels when he plays with his sexual region. This discovery process, which was triggered by curiosity; It is quite different from older masturbation behavior and has nothing to do with adult sexuality. It is known that children tend to masturbate to reduce the intense anxiety and stress they feel, as well as the desire to enjoy. Masturbation if the child has difficulty coping with emotional difficulties or if the family shows too much interest in masturbation; It can be established as a way of attracting attention, relaxation or escape.

How can parents manage this process more healthily?

.If you see a curiosity in your child in this direction, you can buy him a book that is suitable for his age and tells about body parts and sexual information. You can tell your child that he can read the book and then ask you questions he is curious about.

.Using expressions such as ‘sin, bad, dirty’ about masturbation behavior while talking to your child; It can cause your child to develop negative thoughts about self-image and sexuality in adult life. It is therefore very important to emphasize that this is perfectly normal and not to punish the child for what he or she has done.

.When you witness this behavior of your child, do not react harshly. Because the intense reactions shown can cause the child to feel shame and guilt.

.You can explain to your child that masturbation is a private matter and cannot be done in public. You can say that he can do this when he is alone, in the bathroom or in his own room.

.If your child masturbates during the transition to sleep, leave him alone and do not try to control what he is doing. Compressing your child in this sense can cause him to lie and feel guilty about it.

.When your child masturbates in public, you can try to direct his attention to another activity or toy where he can use his hands.

.At what stage should you seek professional help?

Unless it is done deliberately in public after the age of 5-6, it is not possible to talk about an abnormality related to masturbation behavior. However, it is important to determine whether the child has any physiological problems in the genital area. Because a health problem that may cause itching or irritation will constantly direct attention to that area. If there is no health problem, if the child is inclined to masturbate in the community and unavoidably, at any cost; if he becomes detached, unrelated and later unconscious/exhausted in this process; It is very important to get professional help. With the support of a specialist, it is possible to determine the reasons why the child persists in this behavior and to manage this process more easily as parents.

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Çocuklarda Tuvalet Eğitimi

Toilet Training in Children

Toilet training is an extremely important step in the growth and development processes of children. This process can be quite critical and sometimes worrying for parents as well as children. It is generally thought that children show interest in toilet training when they turn 24 months, but this period may be earlier or later in some children. Therefore, it is not possible to say an exact time when toilet training should be given to children.

.So, how do I know when my child is ready for toilet training?

.Can he understand and follow simple instructions?

.Does he/she feel uncomfortable if the diaper is wet or dirty?

.Does it have anything to do with potty, going to the bathroom, or wearing underwear?

.Can the bottom stay dry for at least 2 hours during the day?

.Does he say he needs to go to the bathroom with words, gestures, or body language?

.Can he pull down his pants himself and then raise them again?

.Can he delay pooping or peeing for a short time?

.Have gross motor skills such as walking, sitting and squatting improved?

If you answer ‘Yes’ to most of these questions; It may be thought that your child is ready for toilet training, but if you mostly answered ‘No’ to the questions; You can wait a while longer. Especially if there are important events in your child’s life such as a move, loss, birth of a sibling or a history of illness that coincides with that period; It would be more appropriate to delay this process a little.

How long will it take for my child to develop toilet habits?

It usually takes 3 to 6 months for children to get used to this process. On the other hand, it is known that some children can adapt in a longer or shorter time than this. Children can learn not to wet themselves at the same time, both during the day and at night, but they usually learn to hold their stools at the end of 2 years of age and their urine at 3 years of age. As for being able to sleep without a diaper, they become ready after the age of 3 at the earliest.

How should I toilet train my child?

In the period before starting this process, when you notice that your child’s diaper is dirty, change it immediately without waiting. Getting used to the cleanness of the gold will cause discomfort to the fact that it is dirty and will make your work easier.

You can buy your child a potty and tell him that he’s grown up now, so he’s entitled to a toilet of his own.

Allow your child to play on the potty, sit on and get up in their clothes a few days before starting toilet training.

Encourage your child to sit on the potty, usually 30-40 minutes after a meal, but never force it. Since there will be movement in the digestive system after the meal, the probability of peeing and pooping will be higher.

5 minutes is enough to make your child wait on the potty. Your child may perceive a longer sitting as a punishment.

If she pees or poops while sitting on the potty dressed, congratulate her without exaggeration and remove the diaper and throw her poop into the potty, then into the toilet. Let him say goodbye to his poop; You can say ‘goodbye poop, come again’ after the poop.

Don’t be surprised if the kid looks at his poop in amazement. Avoid using expressions such as ‘bad, disgusting, dirty’ about his stool.

At first, clean your child’s bottom while you are on the toilet. Then teach him how to do it. Remind them to wash their hands after using the toilet. Handwashing can be a fun part of your child’s toilet routine.

At what point should you seek professional help?

The speed of acquiring toilet habits is completely related to the child’s own psychological and physiological readiness process. Here, the task of the parent is to follow the signals of the child’s readiness for toilet training and guide him through this process. A psychologist can be consulted at all stages of toilet training. It will be extremely beneficial to get professional help, especially for children who have reached the age of 4 and have difficulty at the point of leaving the diaper even though they do not have any physiological problems.

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Ders Çalış-ma


The subject of study is one of the problems that the child and the family have in common. This is due to the differences between the expectations of the family and the child. The openness of the scissors in the disagreement here is much wider as a result of the reluctance of both sides to take a step.

It is important for the solution of this process to try to determine the factors that prevent the child from studying, and then to determine the expectations about studying. However, in order for these two issues to be realized efficiently, it is necessary to try to strengthen the communication channel, which has weakened with the opening of the scissors. Trying to understand the child’s feelings and thoughts, creating the image that we are with him, and being open to cooperation for the formation of healthy boundaries will strengthen the communication channel.

Suggestions for children;

Using the working time efficiently: Here the step by step principle can be applied. So step by step but establishing a continuous routine. Sometimes, instead of working too much and sometimes not working at all, determining an average time between working hard and not working at all and making it a routine will motivate you more.

Deciding on the area to work on: Determining the areas where we are good and having difficulties, trying to solve the areas we have difficulty with with the strength and motivation we get from the good areas will give you the chance to reduce the areas where you have difficulty, even if it does not guarantee to solve all the areas.

Studying and other activities: When planning study, we limit other areas in our lives. For this reason, it is important for our psychological health to review these areas and not to neglect them while doing the study routine. Adapting these areas to the routines will make it easier for you to relax and concentrate again.

Distractions: During study, our attention will begin to wane after a while. It is useful to reduce distractions as much as possible so that our attention spans are more productive. Instead of completely removing these distractions, setting limits on them will also save you from preoccupying your mind because you know you will reach them.

Setting goals: 3-stage goal setting, long, medium and short-term goals. If the problem is big, breaking it down into parts will make it easier for us to reach our goals. In addition, our motivation on this path will not always be the same, as the road to our goals can be long. For this reason, we can set intermediate targets to increase our motivation again. Thus, we can experience the feeling of success more than once as we move towards our goals.

Advice to parents;

Whose responsibility? : We must accept that it is the child’s responsibility to study or not to study, and we must ensure that he takes on the natural consequences that may arise. This point will help the child to create a sense of responsibility and to establish healthy boundaries.

Whose concern? : As a parent, you may be more worried about missed homework or lessons, which will make it harder for the child to take responsibility. In such cases, you can try to notice these points first in order to raise awareness. Afterwards, you can express that you care about your child’s feelings and thoughts and make him assume the natural consequences. This attitude will do your child a favor towards maturation and individualization.

In summary;

While the subject of study can become a problem that affects the family deeply, it can also come to a point where both the parent and the child gain thanks to the determination of the right techniques, putting them into practice in practice, and the determination set forth in these two items.

It is useful to keep in mind that the child may need the support of an expert to solve the factors that prevent the child from studying in the second paragraph. Especially in learning difficulties, attention deficit and hyperactivity, mental problems, behavioral problems and mood disorders, the subject of study is directly affected. For this reason, when you realize that you cannot make progress despite the strategies and healthy limits you have set, you can get support from an expert.

Note to children: It is entirely up to you whether the suffix –ma, which is written separately in the title, is interpreted as a negative suggestion or as a motivational statement for you to set a strategy. I wish you to assume the natural consequences of both situations…

Oynayarak Büyümek – Oynadım, Oynuyorum, Oynayacağım

Growing by Playing – I Played, I Play, I Will Play!

The Importance of Play in the Developmental Perspective and the Stages of Play

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing”

George Bernard Shaw

Play is the most important source of spending time in a child’s life, a means of getting to know the environment and the world in which he lives, and most importantly, it is the field of re-experiencing what he has lived and learned. Thanks to the game, children digest the events they see and hear in their daily lives, learn by playing over and over again and contribute to their development. For this reason, play is an indispensable part of the child’s life. Every child instinctively wants to play and sets up, universally all children are familiar with play and all children “know” how to play, even if they are influenced by their culture and reflected in their play.

In scientific studies, it has been observed that the cognitive and social development of children who play and given the opportunity to play are at a better level (Göncü & Gaskins, 2006). During the game, the child develops waiting for his turn, that is, patience, controlling his anger when things do not go the way he wants, caring about the wishes of the other and empathizing, reading social cues, speaking skills and many more skills that we cannot count. The child reflects the feelings that he cannot express in the game, and places the events that need to be digested in his mind by playing them over and over again in the game.

The content and richness of the game also changes according to the developmental processes of the children. Children both develop with games suitable for their own skills and support their own development by playing.

Game Steps

Games such as stacking the cubes on top of each other, lining up the toys one after the other, hitting the stick on the table all the time, which we can describe as simple games, start when children are almost born. According to Piaget, who examines the development of children in detail, play is a means of experiencing the environment and himself, for example, the baby shouts or cries in order to make sounds and become familiar with his own voice (Piaget, 1962). In the process until the age of 2, games are mostly games based on the repetition of the same action and help the child physically understand his own strength and environmental factors.

“Symbolic play” is the concept also known as pretend play. It is the type of game in which children play by daydreaming, imagining and playing themselves or objects as another entity. For example, using a remote as if it is a mobile phone in the game, sitting the teddy bear on the table as if it is a guest, playing house as if he was a mother and his friend was a father. Symbolic play starts from the age of 2, for example, the child pretends to drive a toy car, drives it back and forth on the ground and makes sounds. (Piaget, 1962). Over time, game contents develop, children begin to build games with their friends and enrich the contents of symbolic games. With the support of cognitive development and the increase in language development, verbal communication, fiction and use of objects in the game are enriched, so the child reflects his daily life practice in the game. Symbolic play is important in the development of the child, because in this way, the child’s observation ability increases and his empathy skills are supported.

The greatest teaching of the game in the life of the child is that it allows the reinforcement of what is learned in daily life and the opportunity to be experienced again. According to Piaget, games with rules that emerge in the cognitive development process contribute to the social and moral development of the child. Even if we see that children play with rules from the age of 6-7, it takes 11-12 years for Piaget to fully understand the rules and to be consciously aware of what they are used for. (Piaget, 1962). For example, more than one child is required in the game of hide and seek, first of all, being together will improve sociability. In order to play hide and seek, it is necessary to agree on the same rules, while the midwife counts up to the determined number, the others hide and the game is played according to the rules, all children agree on these rules. Since breaking the rules, that is, being a gamer, will bring with it exclusion, the child will experience what conflict is, and if he makes an effort to resolve it, he will add to his repertoire what can be done in case of disagreement. In short, games with rules provide the preliminary preparation to exist in social life, to be an individual and to be a part of the order. Social and moral development is actually supported and reinforced by play (Dost-Gözkan & Korkmaz, 2017). This is the last step of the game, and when the child completes this step, it can be said that he has reached a sufficient cognitive capacity.

What Should Be Considered While Playing With The Child?

First of all, the child should be provided with plenty of opportunities to play. It should not be forgotten that the game is both a development and an emotional expression area for the child. As parents, they should observe the children’s play, and if the child wants to involve the parents in the game, they should be included in the game within the conditions. Rather than directing the game, it should allow the child to manage the game, and the game should be accompanied by the child’s age-appropriate developmental stage. If a content that is not suitable for the age of the child is detected in the game, if the emotional reactions of the child are excessive and continuous, an expert should be consulted.

Let’s keep in mind that we can tell what we want to tell children through games. Let’s remember that if we want the child to wait his turn, if we want him to be patient, we can instill this in a board game we play. He will have to wait because he can’t speak before it’s his turn, and he will have to follow the rules because you have made a joint decision. Even if he gets angry at this situation, he will try to keep his anger under control and regulate his behavior, and if he is not successful, he will learn that the game cannot continue. This will be both a moral teaching for a child and his impulse control skills will develop in the game. Also, as a parent, there is definitely a more fun way to sit your child across from you and explain the importance of being patient than seeing his bored face and listening to his objections.

We grow and develop by playing. For this reason, play is the most fundamental right of children. Children were playing games years ago, they are playing today, and they will continue to play in the future. Yes, the game contents may change, but the game will always remain. The game still continues its developmental role with the same seriousness and will continue to do so. With my respect and love to the children playing, to the parents and caregivers who play with them, to those who defend the rights of children to play, and to those who enable them…

Have fun days


Dost-Gözkan, A., & Korkmaz, D. (2017). Play and Social-Emotional Development. In Play from the Perspective of Developmental Psychology and Therapy. Istanbul: Özyeğin University Press.

Goncu, A., & Gaskins, S. (2007). Play and development: Evolutionary, sociocultural, and functional perspectives. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum Press.

Piaget, J. (1962). Play dreams and imitation in childhood. W.W. Norton.

Online Sınıf Çocukları

Online Classroom Kids

Online Education in the Covid-19 Process

The pandemic has changed many systems around the world or caused systems to be recreated and all rules to be rewritten. The education system is perhaps one of the branches on which the pandemic has been most effective. The fact that education could not be carried out face-to-face due to the high risk of contamination led to the search for different alternatives and ultimately the continuation of education online. Online education is applied in a similar way not only in our country but also globally and this shows that the education system has been affected and changed globally. Considering UNESCO and UNICEF data, half of the students at various educational levels all over the world have fallen behind in education due to the mentioned practices (UNESCO, 2020a; UNICEF, 2020).

It is known that not all students are in the same conditions and opportunities in the online education system (Can, 2020). There is an effort to continue their education through the internet, tablet, phone or television via EBA TV, within the possibilities of the children’s homes. In this process, the transformation of all the houses in which the children live into a “school” and the transformation of the platforms (tablets, phones, computers, etc.) used while entering the classes into new “classes” both increased the responsibilities of the parents and increased the need of the children for the parents (Can, 2020).

Challenges in the Home Environment

When we consider the attention skills of children, we observe that it is difficult for especially young children to adapt to the online education system that they are not accustomed to. The fact that there are too many distracting objects in the house, the possibility of seeing in the lesson and dealing with other activities by turning off the camera in the online education system attracts children. As in face-to-face education, it is more difficult for teachers to detect and intervene when children are distracted; It may not be possible to see all children at the same time in the programs where the lessons are taught, and even if intervention is made, the child’s attention can be distracted at the same time. It is expected that the self-control levels of a child in a school environment and a child in online education will be the same, but it is observed that this is not possible in practice. In the current situation, children may need their parents to be with them, to be observed and to be warned when they disperse, but again, due to the fact that many parents are working in practice, children attend classes alone at home or there are elders (grandmother, grandmother, etc.) at home and their supervision skills are not sufficient for children.

In this process, most of the rules that were previously set at home had to be stretched. The sleep patterns of most children whose bedtime and wake-up times are fixed have changed; they go to bed later and wake up later, and most of the parents complain about this situation but state that they can no longer intervene. The school also provided an easy-to-follow routine for the children, getting up and going to bed at the same time every weekday, and the schedule of their day was fixed and fixed for them, hardly changing.

The opportunities provided by the school to the children are much more than the lessons. First of all, school is a source of socialization for children of all educational levels. In accordance with the requirements of their own developmental stages, children put their friendship relationships at an important point and get social support from their friendships. The time that children spend with their peers is very valuable to them and should be supported in terms of the development of their social skills. In the existing order, children have lagged behind in their social communication with their friends, and the process spent at home in the pandemic has become increasingly boring. Friendship relationships that had to continue online have also lost their effectiveness for children, or since children are constantly in contact with their friends on the phone, parents have begun to feel a loss of control and feel the need to limit their communication.

What can be done?

During the pandemic, parents also need to make changes or adjustments to their home conditions during online education. During the time that children follow their lessons, it will be beneficial for parents to provide an environment where they can see them and check their presence from time to time. This can be problematic for teenagers, but may be necessary for younger children because younger children have shorter attention spans and can be easily distracted.

There should be as few distracting objects as possible in the classroom environment. If possible, children can pay attention more easily if they attend classes in rooms that resemble a working environment instead of attending online classes in the rooms where their beds are located. The more attention-grabbing objects, the more easily children are distracted; For example, a primary school child trying to listen to online lessons in a room full of toys is very likely to think of his toys and want to play with them the first time he gets bored, and this is much more possible in the online education process compared to school conditions. Environmental regulations are very important in this sense in the adaptation of children to the online education process. Leaving all control to children does not produce healthy results.

Although the hours of the lessons are certain in online education during the pandemic, children cannot provide this follow-up as disciplined as school. In this regard, as much as possible, it can be ensured that children go to bed and wake up as if they are going to school, that they do not attend classes in their pajamas, so that they can change their clothes and prepare for the lesson psychologically. It should be ensured that they have their breakfast not during the lesson, but before the lessons start, to relieve their energy by providing physical activity if possible during the breaks given in online education, and the school routine should be protected as much as possible. Routine has an important place in all of our lives, and disruption of routine has more negative than positive consequences for children. Although children use more screens than previously allowed during online education, compulsory screen use and arbitrary use (playing games, watching videos, etc.) should be separated and arbitrary use should be within the rules set beforehand.

Especially young children’s screen use should be kept under control as much as possible, but while doing this, care should be taken not to harm peer relations.

We should not forget that no conditions are normal during the period, and naturally, our reactions are normal reactions to an abnormal situation. Teaching in “online classrooms” established at home for children is an unusual, abnormal process and it is not easy for them to adapt. As parents, it should be tolerant as much as possible, the rules in the house should be kept as constant as possible and the home routine should be tried to be carried out as before. In this process, it should be kept in mind that parents cannot always keep their calm, their processes are also subject to abnormal changes, mishaps that may occur from time to time should not be magnified, and the peace of the home environment should be the first priority. With the hope that the children will reach their real classes as soon as possible, embrace with their friends and reunite with their schools and teachers, which they miss so much…


Can, E. (2020). Coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic and its pedagogical reflections: Open and distance education practices in Turkey. AUAd, 6(2). 11-53.

UNESCO. (2020a). School closures caused by Coronavirus (Covid-19). UNESCO. https://en.unesco.org/covid19/educationresponse

UNICEF. (2020). UNICEF and Microsoft launch global learning platform to help address COVID-19 education crisis. UNICEF. https://www.unicef.org/press-releases/unicef-and-microsoft-launch-global-learning-platform-help-address-covid-19-education


Specialist Child and Adolescent Psychologist Selin Damla ÇAKIR

Kötü Haber Verme

Don’t Deliver Bad News

What is bad news? How does the news affect the field? How does it affect the reporter?

1995 World Medical Association Declaration of Patient Rights, Article 7; talks about the right to be informed.

In 1998 Turkish Medical Deontology Regulation, Patient Rights Regulation, Article 3/15; speaks of this right.

Bad news negatively affects the individual’s perspective, changes his perspective on the future. It threatens the individual’s mental and physical well-being, and threatens the settled way of life.

General Approaches to Reporting Bad News

“Should it be told?” not ”How should it be said?” Who should say it, when where, how should it be said, who should it be found?


A- Preparation Phase

B- Establishing Therapeutic Relationship

C- Good Communication

D- Handling Patient and Family Reactions

E- Ensuring Accepting and Expressing Emotions

Key Features of Delivering Bad News

The bad news should be given in a calm and private environment, sufficient time should be allowed for the first interview to be conducted without interruption, and the patient’s and relatives’ understanding of the information given and his or her mood should be evaluated. It should be honest, the patient and their relatives should be given the opportunity to express their feelings, the message that nothing else can be done should be avoided, and a new interview session should be determined to reconsider the situation. Treatment options should be discussed and other people to whom the diagnosis can be told should be identified, and information should be provided about sources of support.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross, in her book “On Death and Dying”, listed the psychological reactions after being diagnosed with such a disease as a result of her interviews with terminally ill patients:






A lost family heirloom earring,







…it could be

Loss is the price of living. Rent due during stay (Annie Dillard ”Traveler in Tinker Valley”)


Often symbolic, this first phase of grief helps us survive loss. Life has become meaningless, we wonder why and how to move on. Denial and shock help us meet as much as we can handle. We cannot look at the sun all the time, and we cannot come face to face with death all the time.


It doesn’t have to be logical or valid, anger is a necessary part of the healing process, underneath the anger is the pain. Most of the time we know better how to suppress anger than to feel it, anger because it goes to the health system, life and the lost…..


Sentences that start with ‘if’, the possibilities of what could happen if we thought differently, the feeling of guilt are components of the bargaining phase. There is a higher level of awareness that there is loss in bargaining. But resistance takes long enough to force us into psychic bargains with fate. (V.VOLKAN)


A normal response to a major loss, depression is necessary in the healing process of grief.


The period when the good days of the person are more than the bad days, no one can replace the lost situation / person, but life has to go on. It is a necessity to listen to the needs of the person, change and develop.

The situation is different when it comes to lost health. It’s as if there is no more pain, the struggle is over and it’s time for some rest before the long journey. During this period, more families need help and understanding.

  • The despair of the family while the patient needs hope…….
  • Family clinging to hope as the patient prepares to die…….

Worden’s Model of Mourning Duties

Worden (2001) defines the mourning process as basic ‘tasks’ (tasks) that an individual must fulfill in order to adapt to the grieving process, rather than conceptualizing it as a process consisting of certain ‘phases/stages’. This model describes the individual’s approach to coping as a highly dynamic process. Because, the mourner does not passively experience the mourning after the loss, on the contrary, he tries to complete the mourning process by taking an active role in this process (Stroebe & Schut, 2001). In this model, not every grieving individual is expected to perform or complete these tasks, nor is there a specific sequence in which these tasks must be completed. However, it is still important for the individual to be able to complete the previous ‘task’ in order to work on a particular ‘task’ during the grieving process. For example, in order for the mourner to work on their emotional reactions after the loss, they first need to accept that the loss is real (Rich, 2002).

Stages of Worden’s Model of Grieving Duties

  Accepting the reality of loss

It is normal for an individual to experience a shock and unreality immediately after a loss experience and to display a belief as if everything happened and death did not occur. At this stage, the person experiencing loss is faced with many unanswered questions. Especially after sudden deaths, understanding the causes and events leading to death is of greater importance for the individual (Rich, 2002). At this stage, the primary task in the grieving process is for the person who has experienced the loss to come to terms with the reality that the lost person has died and will never return. The acceptance of this reality, albeit partially, is important for the individual to form a belief that they cannot be reunited in this world.

Working through grief and expressing emotions

The pain caused by bereavement is both physical and emotional pain. Acknowledging, identifying and working on this pain is a very important requirement. Otherwise, this pain can manifest itself with physical symptoms (symptoms) or atypical behaviors, significantly reducing the individual’s quality of life (Worden 2001). Emotionally, grief manifests itself in the form of deep sadness, crying, anxiety, anger, exhaustion, and weakness. Experiencing this pain is very important in terms of the emergence of a peace of mind afterwards. Hiding or suppressing the grief and the resulting pain causes the individual to experience temporary comfort and permanent pain (Rich, 2002). Therefore, by prolonging the grief, the process turns into chronic or pathological grief.

Adapting to an environment where the deceased is not present

The basic task of this process is for individuals who have been lost to adapt to the changing world without losing their memories of the deceased. In this process, the individual encounters many problems such as economic and legal issues as well as dealing with the pain after loss and has to cope with these problems. In this period, individuals may need support in different areas from close circles such as family, friends, colleagues and from various experts such as lawyers, financial advisors or psychological counselors (Rich, 2002).

Emotionally reorganizing relationships with the deceased and moving on with life

This task encompasses a process that can take quite a long time to fulfill compared to other existing tasks. Directing the individual’s existing emotional energy towards loss to other relationships and personal interests in his life is considered as the main task in this process. This duty is misunderstood by the mourners in general and especially by the mourners and can be considered as an attempt to forget the deceased. The truth is that the grieving individual does not have to ignore their past in order to rebuild their future. However, the grieving individual has to prevent the grieving process from negatively disrupting future life plans and activities by creating an appropriate memory formation [reminiscing] for the deceased. Therefore, the role of the psychological counselor is to help the grieving individual to find a suitable place in the emotional life of the deceased and to continue his life as an active individual, rather than ending his relationship with the deceased.

One of the basic things that should be told to individuals during grief counseling is that the grieving process can be long and that the most advanced point that can be reached is not the situation before the loss.

Anoreksiya Nervoza AN Nedir Belirtileri, Tedavisi Nelerdir

What is Anorexia Nervosa (AN)? What are the symptoms and treatment

Anorexia Nervosa is an eating disorder with symptoms such as refusal to maintain a normal weight for age and height, excessive fear of gaining weight, disturbance in body image, and cessation of menstruation. An intense fear of gaining weight is at the root of anorexia nervosa, accompanied by a refusal to even maintain a low weight.

What Are the Symptoms of Anorexia Nervosa?

Anorexia Nervosa causes the person to restrict their energy intake according to their needs and to have a significantly lower body weight in terms of physical health. These people are very afraid of gaining weight, and despite their low body weight, they limit, exclude or engage in compensatory behaviors. There is a disorder in how the person perceives his/her body weight or body shape, the individual places an undue importance on body weight and shape while evaluating himself, and he never realizes the importance of low body weight at that time.

Restrictive Type:

This subtype describes appearances in which body weight is lost by dieting more, eating almost no food, and/or exercising excessively.

Binge Eater/Putting Type:

There have been recurrent episodes of binge eating or purging (eg, self-induced vomiting or abuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas) in the past three months (DSM-V).

Anorexia nervosa is among the psychiatric disorders with the highest mortality rate. When patients with this disorder die, it is usually due to medical complications and suicide. These people who are undernourished cannot cope with low temperatures, often feel tired, weak, light-headed, and pass out due to chronic low blood pressure. Thiamine (vitamin B1) deficiency may occur; this is one of the causes of depression and cognitive changes in some of the underweight anorexia patients. While many of these problems improve with weight regain, anorexia nervosa increases the risk of osteoporosis later in life. Not eating a healthy diet in early adulthood causes bones to lose their flexibility and become more fragile throughout life. Symptoms such as decreased bone density, dryness and flaking of the skin, constipation, hair loss, slowing of thyroid function and decrease in blood pressure are among other physical symptoms.

What is the Treatment for Anorexia Nervosa?

Since anorexia nervosa is the most severe form of eating disorders, it is known to have the highest mortality rate among all psychiatric disorders. Therefore, an early, intensive and multidisciplinary treatment approach is very important in the treatment of the disease. All studies show that family therapy, including other family members, is the most effective and long-term benefit in the disease. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which aims to change behaviors and maladaptive thinking patterns when family therapy is not appropriate, has proven to be an effective method in the treatment of anorexia nervosa. Treatment focuses specifically on changing distorted beliefs about weight and food, as well as distorted thoughts about the self that may contribute to illness (for example, “If I don’t lose weight, people will reject me”). It is recommended to add pharmacological treatment in cases where there is significant deterioration in body image, limited eating or food refusal and agitation.

Meditasyon ve Zihinsel Huzur Zihni Sakinleştirme ve Odaklanma Yöntemleri

Meditation and Mental Peace: Methods to Calm and Focus the Mind

Meditation is a term that corresponds to the concept of “deep thinking” in the dictionary sense. In dictionaries, the word meditation is defined as “inner peace of the individual, calmness”. Meditation is a spiritual purification technique in different cultures and religions. Thanks to concentration and alertness exercises, the individual rests his mind and soul. One of the main purposes of meditation is to increase one’s awareness level. Usually in a quiet and calm environment; Although it is thought that the consciousness is done in a blurred way, meditation can also be done when the consciousness is completely open and active. The purpose of meditation; focusing and understanding our mind is to reach inner peace and a calm mind as a result.

Setting a certain time while meditating will make it easier for us to focus. Beginners can start with a 5-minute meditation process. In the following periods, periods of 10, 15 and 20 minutes can be reached. The number of days per week to meditate should be determined. It can be selected as 1 or 2 days in the first place. Over time, the frequency of meditation can be increased in parallel with the duration of meditation. It is important to be in a comfortable position while meditating. In order to stay comfortably in the position for a long time, the position should be chosen accordingly. If sitting on a cushion or chair, it will be beneficial to sit in a comfortable and upright position. Individuals who are new to meditation can keep their eyes closed for the initial phase. Over time, the eyes can be opened and instead of looking at a single point, it should be aimed to see the whole consciously.

It is necessary to create a peaceful and calm environment for meditation. Individuals who are new to meditation may have difficulty focusing. For this, they can put electronic devices in a remote place or they may prefer to start by turning off vibration and sound. Instead of meditating in complete silence, it is also helpful to hear sounds from the outside world and learn that those sounds do not disturb our mind and focus as time goes on. Another thing to do while meditating is to wear comfortable clothes. It may be necessary to choose appropriate clothes in order to avoid cold or sweating according to the condition and degree of the weather. The clothes we wear should not make it difficult for us to focus, and disturbing materials (earrings, necklaces, bracelets, watches, etc.) should be removed. Shoes can also be removed while meditating, creating a comfortable physical condition.

Breathing meditation may be the right choice at the beginning. The main goal is to be aware that we are breathing. Instead of controlling the breath, it is necessary to focus on the function of the breath and the difference it creates in us physically. Using diaphragmatic breathing, we can identify a point in our stomach and focus on it. In order to get efficiency from meditation, it must be done regularly.

In order to empty our minds, we should focus on a single object or mantra in the first place. Over time, we can focus on many objects and try to empty our minds completely. While meditating with our eyes open, the object should be at eye level. A candle or simple objects can be used.

We can visualize in our minds to increase our awareness level and provide a deep awareness. Thanks to this imagination technique, we can create a place where we felt good before or a newly designed and safe place. We need to use all our sense organs while exploring this space we have created. It is important to hear, see, touch, smell, taste and feel. It can be the contact of a piece of clothing with our skin, the taste of a strawberry we eat in our mouth, or the smell of the sea that we enjoy smelling.

Scanning our body is a good way to go into the deep phase. The goal here is to relax while scanning our body and to relax our minds with the relaxation in our body. For this, we can try to feel every part of the body, starting from our toes to the tips of our hair.

Imagination Technique

We all have times when we feel mentally tired. So what can we do to relax mentally? You can use the imagery technique to relax yourself cognitively and relax. Keep breathing the way you always do. Focus on your breath and feel your body. Notice the states in motion in your body as you breathe in and out. Imagine yourself in a safe and peaceful place, as if you were there. Listen to the sounds around you and inhale the smells. Feel the details, the ambient temperature and the clothes in contact with your body. Make the details very specific. As you inhale the scent, enjoy the place you are in to the very marrow of your bones. When you feel ready, open your eyes and say hello to the comfort in your body. Using a relaxing background music while applying will increase the effectiveness.

When we meditate regularly;

  • Stress is reduced.
  • Happiness level increases.
  • Memory and learning improve.
  • Our perspective on problems changes.
  • Our brain capacity increases.
  • Our mental and physical health increases.
  • Creativity increases and we can make decisions faster.
  • Our anxiety level decreases and it becomes easier for us to overcome anxiety.
  • There is a positive change in social relations.
  • Adapts to changes faster.
Sanatla İyileşmek

Healing with Art

Art can also be used as a way of expressing our trapped emotions. We relax our souls by expressing the feelings and memories that we have difficulty in putting into words with various branches of art. It works to solve any problem, including unhappiness, couple and family problems, trauma, anger, separation pain, grief and loss, low self-esteem, emotional scars from childhood, anxiety disorders, eating disorders or obsessions. Sometimes just to improve your quality of life, for example; You can also benefit from art therapy for areas such as academic career, business life, stress management, time management.

What are the Art Branches Used?

Emotions and thoughts are expressed with these “art branches” instead of “words” through activities such as music, movement, story writing, and fairy tale writing, thereby providing relaxation on the nervous system. We also work with visual arts. Sometimes even just pencil and paper can be enough for this, sometimes we work with ceramic paste, watercolor or other paints.

What is the Purpose of Art Therapy?

The aim is certainly not to produce an aesthetic result. In fact, we sometimes try to get rid of the “critical inner voice within us” by doing a non-aesthetic work on purpose. In this way, we contribute to self-acceptance, self-compassion, self-love and self-confidence.

“How can creativity be taught?” they ask.

“I say not taught.”

“I teach people how to be free to be creative.”

-Julia Cameron

Is Art Therapy Enough? What Therapies Can Be Worked Together With Art Therapy?

The specialist you apply will synthesize art therapy with other therapy methods according to their competencies and will make the most appropriate planning for you. EMDR, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Logotherapy, Existential Therapies, Interpersonal Relations Therapy, Short Term Solution Focused Therapy, Family Therapy, etc. can work with many fields.

Are There Different Approaches to Art Therapy? How Do I Work?

There are different approaches to art therapy. I am Specialist Clinical Psychologist Şeyma Önder. My approach is to accompany one’s own journey of discovery. I don’t analyze through art.

Through the works produced by the person in Art Therapy;

Relaxing by expressing your feelings,

Supporting him/herself to realize his/her feelings and thoughts that he/she does not realize,

Getting rid of the critical inner voice (constant self-criticism),

To increase their perspectives and solutions to their problems by increasing their creativity,

Increasing the ways of self-expression,

Finding new ways to facilitate stress management,

Learning to stay in the moment and think less about the past and the future,

Build healthy romantic relationships

Accepting and loving yourself as you are

Realizing your own potential

Accepting and loving your body as it is,

Gaining breath and body awareness…

etc. We get gains like


Psk. Şeyma Önder

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