Uzman Makaleleri

Our Child Brides Who Have Their Lives Taken From Their Hands

I have been dealing with issues involving child abuse, neglect and abuse since 1986. I think that marrying a child at the age of 13-14 to a person who is much older than him, who is the age of his father, uncle or even his grandfather, would constitute both neglect and abuse of the child, even with the permission of these families.

Of course, this is not just my opinion. While reviewing the newspapers the other day, I came across an article in which Attorney Türkay Asma (Term President of Child Neglect and Abuse Prevention and Research Association) was involved. We have worked with him for many years and I value his opinions very much.

The article begins as follows: “For the first time, a child bride has been mentioned with the accusation of attempted sexual abuse in a court case… Asma emphasized that this development was very important in terms of children’s rights, although it was still a ‘possibility’. According to this news published in Habertürk, when a 15-year-old girl in Southeastern Anatolia filed a complaint against her family’s request for forced marriage, the prosecutor filed a lawsuit against the parents for “attempted sexual abuse and forced deprivation of liberty”.

According to Asma, this is considered a full attempt at sexual abuse, which I agree with.

Fatma Şahin, Minister of Family and Social Policies, in her speech on the marriage and giving birth of young children, which had a great impact on the public in recent days; “We never approve of having a child when they are still children. “We will fight to prevent family tragedies,” he said.

In the sub-paragraphs of this article, there were words of the Minister that I really cared about. “Mothers must ensure the education of their daughters… Marriage is an important event. We care about the family… But it has to be in the right place and with the right person on time…”

I would like to touch on the neglect and abuse dimension of the issue a little more. I want to touch because I want to touch abuse, especially to see how a child who has been sexually abused at a young age feels, how his life is taken away from them.

Have you ever looked into the eyes of an abused little child?

If you look at it one day (I hope you will never encounter such a situation), you will not see only timidity, fear, anxiety, anger, helplessness, hopelessness in those eyes. You see it in a lost youth and adulthood. You see a wasted, destroyed life, an unsuspected individual.

“CHILD BRIDES ARE LITTLE CHILDREN WITH SEXUAL ABUSE, YOU READ THESE FEELINGS IN THEIR EYES…”

The issue of child brides is one of the most important social problems and is now on the agenda of the country more than before. However, this is not just a problem specific to our country. It is possible to meet child brides all over the world…

‘Flying Broom’ has been dealing with different projects on this subject for years. He tries to bring sensitivity to the subject… He is very successful…

There are also some individual movements in this regard… For example, Emine Brother, who is a child bride, says, “Don’t let other girls experience what I went through” with the association she founded, and she mobilizes all her material and moral assets to this issue.

Why do early marriages last for generations?

Economic difficulties… On the one hand, the mentality that sees girls as an economic burden, on the other hand, bride price as a solution door…

The sale of a 12-year-old child, who has been on the agenda recently, for 5 thousand liras is a very good example of this issue.

In addition to these, role models, neighborhood pressure, cradle bumps, berdel, domestic sexual abuses, early pregnancy, fear of honor, seeing early marriages as a traditional value, and social pressure on girls can be considered among the reasons for early marriages.

Early marriages take away many of the vital rights of girls… Their education remains unfinished… Their biological, spiritual and social development cannot be completed in their normal course… Having many children at an early age reduces both the physical and spiritual quality of their lives.

These problems are not only theirs but also the society’s, and the cost is very heavy.

Can you imagine that mothers of children who have not grown up, whose education has been left unfinished, and who are dealing with their own half-heartedness in a corner, can raise new generations who look to the future with confidence and hope?

Somewhere, we have many children whose lives have been taken away, living in their own dark worlds that we have not heard of…

This painful scene that has continued for generations… Let us find solutions in our own little worlds and act on behalf of our children whose lives will be lost without wasting time…

January 11, 2024

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Our Child Brides Who Have Their Lives Taken From Their Hands

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Species Happiness is Possible in Partnership

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Autism is a developmental disorder that presents with findings such as limitation in social interaction, significant delay in communication level, limitation in interests and repetitive behaviors in children. This disorder usually begins to show signs before the 36th month, and it is 4 times more common in boys than girls. While the incidence of the …

An Unhappy Child Who Never Grows Up: Peter Sellers

From the moment we enter the movie theater, we step into a new world in the magical atmosphere of 7th art. At the door of the hall, the fights of daily life are left behind and we find ourselves in completely different lives from the moment the movie starts. We can be rich, poor, full …

What is Depression? What are the symptoms? How is the treatment?

The term ‘depression’ is one of the most used medical terms in daily life, for this reason; It has been the subject of many misunderstandings and misconceptions. It is highly probable that almost everyone will hear the phrase ‘I am depressed these days’ from their mouths at some point in their lives. So, is every …

Depression May Not Come With Drums

Depression’s low mood, reluctance, not enjoying life, introversion, crying, irritability can often be easily noticed and may lead you to consult a psychiatrist with the thought of “Am I getting depressed?” However, depressive illnesses may not always begin to manifest itself by playing the drums and horns. That is to say, depression is actually a …

The Hate Diary of a Psychiatrist

The sickly color of the city turned pale and reduced the will to live in people. In fact, outsiders say that the gloomy weather suits this city very well. For those who live here, it doesn’t really matter. They spend the day in the evening without complaining about each other’s same lives every day. My …

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Psychotherapy; It is the general name of the techniques that aim to solve the cognitive, emotional and behavioral problems of individuals through verbal interviews with a trained professional and to protect and improve the mental health of individuals. Throughout the history of psychiatry, different types of psychotherapy have been developed in various periods, shaped according …

The Psychology of Attachment “I Can’t Live Without You”

I can’t live without him, we complement each other, I’m incomplete without him, I can’t imagine a world without him… These expressions, which we all hear or say personally in our daily life, may not be so innocent after all. Ranging from ‘I’m nothing without you’ to ‘it’s mine or the black soil’, these sentences …

Role Distribution in Life: Unloved

There are children who are not accepted, loved, and rejected by their mothers. They climb to their mothers, to love me, take care of me, take care of me. The more she climbs, the more the mother pushes, the more the mother pushes, the more the child clings to the mother. These kids cry for …

Attitudes of Parents in University Exams

University exams have increasingly become the nightmare of both young people and parents in our country. Many people who put all their hopes into these exams go into a serious stress environment before and after the exam. They are right. So it’s not an unwarranted stress. Children flock to psychiatrists at exam time. They have …

Mental Problems Disrupt Our Physical Health

Studies by scientists say that mental problems and related problems can lead to serious diseases in the body after a while. Examining the timing and course of certain diseases shows how connected we are to the people in our lives and how much we are affected by these relationships. The frictions, turmoil and disappointments experienced …

So Was It Time to Die?

I always thought of our country as one big family. Not every country is a family, but our country has always been a big family since the establishment of the Republic of Turkey. Although the population of this family increased very rapidly, new brides and grooms entered the family, some of them were our own …

People of a Huge Country Looking for Himself

I’ve been a curious person for as long as I can remember. I was like that in my childhood. I will never forget the day I started school. My mother had tied white ribbons to my braided hair hanging from both sides. It was as if I was knocking on the door of the world …

Loving Yourself

It is actually very difficult for a person to love and like himself because the beast inside us is insatiable. If we do three, he’ll want five more. Such is the nature of man, but if it were not so, we would all sit hand in hand. Nature probably knows these things better than any …

Betrayal

Betrayal is perhaps one of the greatest pains that human beings can experience in the world. Even poets, in poems and songs, are angry if you compare separation and betrayal with death, and they say that betrayal always hurts a person even more than death. Because in betrayal, there are infuriating and hurtful meanings such …

Always the Same Role

Our role in life begins the moment we are born. This first role, given to us by our mothers, fathers or very close relatives, sticks to us so much that we never leave that role as long as we live, even if the movies change or the scenarios are written differently. Then we call it …

Marriage, Middle Age, Lie

Usually all men are afraid before marriage. They flee as the prey flees the predator. They are afraid of being caught by the hunter. For a while, they see girls as husband hunters. They do not have such fears at a young age, long before the age of marriage. Then there is only love for …

Reflections of the Economic Crisis on the Human Spirit

The people of our country have been living with crises for years. I mean, it never even came out. Economic crises that occur every 8-10 years, natural disasters, terrorism, emerging corruption and wars surrounding our country… All these strengthen our people against all kinds of crises and increase their ability to stand under all conditions, …

A Mobbing Tragedy

The meaning of mobbing can be defined as psychological violence, pressure or harassment. Especially in places where there is a hierarchical structure, it is the powerful oppressing the underdogs or harassing them in various ways. This harassment can sometimes be done by using social and psychological pressure methods, and sometimes it can be in the …

Trauma-Associated Disorders

Trauma, in its most general definition, is a state of discomfort resulting from an unusual experience that has a lasting effect on the individual’s mental state and personality. It is possible to examine traumas in 2 types as short-term and permanent traumas. While short-term traumas occur as a result of sudden and non-continuous events such …

Drug Uses in Psychiatry

We can say that there is an extreme tendency towards medical drugs in our society. Most of the time, it is common to use medication based on the symptoms that occur in the body, even if it is not prescribed by a doctor. In cases such as a small cough, fever or headache, we resort …

Our Most “Popular” Schemes

The emotional needs of individuals that are not met, especially in childhood, play a role in the formation of certain schemas. Emotional deprivation: It results from the emotional neglect of a child’s primary caregiver, most often the mother. The idea that “I will never be loved enough” prevails. These people, knowingly or unknowingly, put emotional …

The Importance of Peer Relationships in Children

In early childhood, babies begin to show a marked interest in all other children. However, since the social skills necessary to play with other children are not yet fully developed, the first types of play are the ones they play alone. After a while, they start to play side-by-side games with their peers around the …

Divorce: A Psychological Perspective

One of the most common issues that parents want to receive counseling or therapy services for their children is the divorce process. Divorce, which is an undesirable situation in parental relations, can lead to different effects for each family structure. Depending on the attitudes and behaviors of the parents, it can be considered normal, on …

Deception And Abandonment

In my first years of working as a cheating and abandonment psychiatrist, that is, 25-30 years ago (in fact, I don’t like talking about such huge numbers when talking about past years, but unfortunately this is the truth) I only listened to women who were cheated on. These were women stabbed in the chest, that’s …