Fear, Anxiety, and Children

Many children experience fear and anxiety as a normal part of their development. They exhibit similar fears at similar ages, and these fears tend to change as they grow. Fears such as fear of animals, spiders, water, darkness, and supernatural beings can emerge from early childhood. As children enter adolescence, concerns about what others think about them become more prominent.

When does fear become a problem?

Many childhood fears serve a protective function, making it challenging to distinguish between what is normal and abnormal. It’s important to pay attention to whether the child’s anxiety creates difficulties or avoidance in their life. For example, it might interfere with activities they enjoy or impact their school life. Another consideration is if, despite all efforts, the child cannot be comforted, and their attention cannot be diverted from their fear. Additionally, the irrationality of the fear concerning the child’s age and developmental level is another point to consider. For instance, it’s normal for a preschooler to fear monsters, but it would be considered irrational if the fear persists into adolescence.

What do children fear at different ages?

• 0-2 years: Loud noises, strangers, separation from caregivers, injury, imaginary beings, sitting on the toilet.
• 3-6 years: Animals, insects, loneliness, darkness.
• 7-12 years: New environments, social rejection, school, illness, injury.
• 13-18 years: New environments (high school, university), illness, fears related to sexuality are considered normal.

How does anxiety affect children?

Every child is unique, so their reactions to anxiety will differ. However, there are commonalities in the behaviors they might exhibit. Children experiencing anxiety may manifest it in their thoughts (such as fearing personal or familial injury), physically (resulting in stomachaches, headaches), and behaviorally (displaying restlessness, fidgeting, crying, trembling).

How should parents behave?

• Try to understand your child and talk to them about their fears. Respect and do not belittle their fears and anxieties.
• Avoid overreacting. Excessive attention when the child is anxious can reinforce their anxiety.
• Do not be overly protective; do not allow the child to escape from what they fear. Otherwise, the child may not have the opportunity to realize that what they fear is not as dangerous as they think and that they are stronger than they believe.
• Reward brave and fearless behaviors, no matter how small. Encourage and reward your child for displaying courageous behaviors.

When should you seek help?

If a child’s fear negatively impacts their daily life, activities, and performance, and if, despite your efforts, you cannot redirect their attention from their fear, it is advisable to seek help from a professional.