The classic ending as a result of relationships: “Why do I always find the same type of people” . Look at destiny. It’s like people are changing, but what happened, the whole scenario is the same, you can’t find happiness or true love. It’s like a vicious circle. Do these people find you by chance or do you always turn to those types of people without realizing it?
Of course it’s not a coincidence. There is an explanation for why we always go and write the same ending, knowing what is wrong and what we don’t want, and always making the same mistake.
Basically, we can attribute this to our early childhood stories. There is a theory in psychology called object relations. Freud, the founder of psychology, called our relationship with our parents the object relationship. The relationship dynamics that we establish as adults arise from this object relationship, grow and stick. Whatever the relationship structure between mother and child or father and child is, we establish a similar or perhaps the same structure with others in our adult life.
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For example, if you are with someone who does not see your achievements and ignores your feelings and thoughts, then your parents may not have appreciated you and made you feel inadequate no matter what you did in the past. In such a situation, our mind, our subconscious mind, whether we are aware of it or not, pulls us to the familiar place. Why, because we have an unclosed ledger. There are unhealed wounds. We seek our own childhood for compensation in that relationship. We want to find someone who will make us experience the same things and repair our past. We think that we will complete the missing relationship, the feeling.
In other words, the same type of people do not find us. We are just trying to treat an unhealed wound in ourselves with that person. We can’t close the wound our parents made when we were young, we want to heal that relationship. That’s why we try to heal by choosing the same relationship, even if it hurts us by going the way we know. Because that’s the love we always get. Love has known us this way.
All of these choices belong to us, of course, it’s not a coincidence. If the scenario does not change, it is always the same end even if the actors change. Remember, the mistake in the scenario may not be in the outside world, it may be a wound in our very deepest past that has not left us unwittingly. Finding and treating it, we must discover and destroy ourselves, our past, our feelings and thoughts, our object patterns with the support of an expert in that unsuccessful and unsuccessful relationship.
