The concept of perfectionism can be briefly defined as the effort of individuals to be the “best” in every field. Sentences that end with -should, -property that individuals put on themselves may actually be a result of their own perfectionist nature. This effort is about being perfect and being complete, 4/4. The effort to be perfect and complete can also cause people to delay their work and spend long periods of time on even the smallest tasks. While the concept of perfectionism actually leads to positive results to some extent in people’s lives, it can start to lead to negative results after a certain point. Whether we set realistic targets or not is one of the important points for this concept. It can be said that we have a negative perfectionist nature in scenarios where we work for hours just to make things “perfect or perfect”, significantly affecting our life flow. Because at this point, we can focus on a job for a long time and never finish it, and this is actually a result of putting things off until they are “desiredly good”.
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This structure continues in this way when there is no intervention, and when people have their own children, they may involuntarily make them feel and impose this structure. In today’s society, exam grades and the division of classes from the most successful to the unsuccessful are one of the important focal points of most adolescents, especially in exam age. This separation causes a number of problems such as high levels of anxiety, fear of failure, fear of exams, reluctance to go to school, and depressive symptoms. Parents’ attitudes also play a major role in this ground, which is already very suitable for children and adolescents to worry. The way you express that you know they can always do better is also very important. When your child gets a 95 in the exam, instead of saying “why could you get 100, why 95”, you will motivate your child. Sometimes he may get lower grades than usual, even if he works hard. At this point, too, criticizing or “you should work harder” etc. It will be constructive to make you feel that you are with him instead of making sentences. By seeing and treating your own negative perfectionist nature, you will be able to take a more positive path both in your own life flow and in your relationships with your children.