Study

The subject of study is one of the problems that the child and the family have in common. This is due to the differences between the expectations of the family and the child. The openness of the scissors in the disagreement here is much wider as a result of the reluctance of both sides to take a step.

It is important for the solution of this process to try to determine the factors that prevent the child from studying, and then to determine the expectations about studying. However, in order for these two issues to be realized efficiently, it is necessary to try to strengthen the communication channel, which has weakened with the opening of the scissors. Trying to understand the child’s feelings and thoughts, creating the image that we are with him, and being open to cooperation for the formation of healthy boundaries will strengthen the communication channel.

Suggestions for children;

Using the working time efficiently: Here the step by step principle can be applied. So step by step but establishing a continuous routine. Sometimes, instead of working too much and sometimes not working at all, determining an average time between working hard and not working at all and making it a routine will motivate you more.

Deciding on the area to work on: Determining the areas where we are good and having difficulties, trying to solve the areas we have difficulty with with the strength and motivation we get from the good areas will give you the chance to reduce the areas where you have difficulty, even if it does not guarantee to solve all the areas.

Studying and other activities: When planning study, we limit other areas in our lives. For this reason, it is important for our psychological health to review these areas and not to neglect them while doing the study routine. Adapting these areas to the routines will make it easier for you to relax and concentrate again.

Distractions: During study, our attention will begin to wane after a while. It is useful to reduce distractions as much as possible so that our attention spans are more productive. Instead of completely removing these distractions, setting limits on them will also save you from preoccupying your mind because you know you will reach them.

Setting goals: 3-stage goal setting, long, medium and short-term goals. If the problem is big, breaking it down into parts will make it easier for us to reach our goals. In addition, our motivation on this path will not always be the same, as the road to our goals can be long. For this reason, we can set intermediate targets to increase our motivation again. Thus, we can experience the feeling of success more than once as we move towards our goals.

Advice to parents;

Whose responsibility? : We must accept that it is the child’s responsibility to study or not to study, and we must ensure that he takes on the natural consequences that may arise. This point will help the child to create a sense of responsibility and to establish healthy boundaries.

Whose concern? : As a parent, you may be more worried about missed homework or lessons, which will make it harder for the child to take responsibility. In such cases, you can try to notice these points first in order to raise awareness. Afterwards, you can express that you care about your child’s feelings and thoughts and make him assume the natural consequences. This attitude will do your child a favor towards maturation and individualization.

In summary;

While the subject of study can become a problem that affects the family deeply, it can also come to a point where both the parent and the child gain thanks to the determination of the right techniques, putting them into practice in practice, and the determination set forth in these two items.

It is useful to keep in mind that the child may need the support of an expert to solve the factors that prevent the child from studying in the second paragraph. Especially in learning difficulties, attention deficit and hyperactivity, mental problems, behavioral problems and mood disorders, the subject of study is directly affected. For this reason, when you realize that you cannot make progress despite the strategies and healthy limits you have set, you can get support from an expert.

Note to children: It is entirely up to you whether the suffix –ma, which is written separately in the title, is interpreted as a negative suggestion or as a motivational statement for you to set a strategy. I wish you to assume the natural consequences of both situations…