A Mobbing Tragedy

The meaning of mobbing can be defined as psychological violence, pressure or harassment. Especially in places where there is a hierarchical structure, it is the powerful oppressing the underdogs or harassing them in various ways. This harassment can sometimes be done by using social and psychological pressure methods, and sometimes it can be in the form of concrete sexual harassment. In recent years, mobbing, especially in the workplace, has become a hot topic all over the world. Experts conduct various researches on the subject and therefore try to explain their rights to the victims. However, especially in countries like ours, which have a deep-rooted history and deep-rooted traditions, especially women who have been subjected to sexual harassment are worried about even hearing this and are hesitant to refer the case to the judiciary.

I have seen many patients who applied to our clinic because they were harassed in different ways at their workplace. Although each of them had a different story, they had a common feature; While the guilty went unpunished, storms were blowing in the inner worlds of the victims. For example, there was a Shaheed. She was a chubby girl of 35-40 years old, with blond hair, blue eyes and a small nose. The freckles scattered over her pink skin gave her a cute look. She used to live with her family in a remote district of Ankara. She had a betrothal in her twenties. Engagement lasted for a long time and eventually the man’s part broke off the engagement. Notorious… Then she never got married again. At that time, she got a small job at the government office with the help of an acquaintance. He’s wrapped up in his work. He gets up early in the morning, dresses cleanly and goes to work. Thus, she was happy to get rid of both the gossip and the reproachful glances at home. She learned things quickly. While She didn’t even know how to speak properly at first, she trained herself in time and managed to become the secretary of the highest official of the place where she worked.

His first boss was a sullen, meticulous, quick-tempered person who spoke little and did not tolerate the slightest mistake. Not only to Shaheste, but to everyone who entered his room for one reason or another, he would shout and shout, even to his wife who called him on the phone. He did not like this man, who did not even look at the person’s face while he was talking, like everyone else, but despite everything, he was an honest and undeserved person. He worked until late at night, and Shaheste had to stay at work with him and tried to help him as much as he could without angering the boss. Years have passed, times have changed, and this time, the sullen boss has been replaced by a smiling, handsome, very respectful artist, especially towards women. Everyone says stay behind. Previously, all the ladies working in the flat looked at this smug, handsome, witty man with admiration. There were even those who envied Shaheste for working with him. Over time, the boss often calls the beautiful and flamboyant ladies working in the flat to him with an excuse. The doors were closing, no one was allowed in, and the rumors were increasing. Shaheste is confused. His biggest fear was that his name would be revealed once again. He was afraid to enter the boss’s room now, and he couldn’t even do the things he always did out of excitement.

In the evenings, like the previous boss, this one leaves late, and they complete most of the work from the day late. He would say to Shaheste from time to time, “You can go out”. At that time, Shaheste was running out of work and was wondering if he would really work after me or if one of the women would come again. One evening they worked together again until late. That day, the boss was very upset, and for the first time, everyone heard how he shouted and insulted someone. When the work was finished, the boss called Shaheste to him. He said, “I’m so tense, massage my shoulders.” The girl was taken aback and she started to tremble with fear. The man called out to Shaheste once more, this time much louder; “Don’t you hear, don’t shake, I’m already tired, and don’t bother me with you.”

For years, Shaheste has lived far away from these jobs, saying from home to work, from work to home. No one liked him or followed him, nor did he look sideways at anyone. There was only one thing that kept him alive and gave him the joy of life; his job… Losing his job meant the same as dying for him. Sighing “bismillah”, she approached the man and reached towards the boss’s shoulders with her shaking hands, but she could not manage to massage. The boss suddenly turned his swivel chair towards him and said, “Are you kidding me, do it properly”. But it didn’t. The swivel chair turned towards him once again. This time, anger flashed in the boss’s eyes. He slapped Shaheste hard with the back of his hand. The girl was surprised at what had happened. He was beaten a lot in his childhood and youth, but he has never experienced anything like this before. His face was red, frozen. Then it was as if he went to another dimension and started to do whatever the boss said, like a robot.

Shaheste, who lost her virginity that night. After that day, he had a ache. At night, he would not sleep until the morning, what he experienced that night was constantly passing before his eyes like a slow motion movie, and he was thinking at the same time. Some did not know whom to complain to. He was afraid of losing his job and of losing his name again. It was as if everyone would understand what had happened that night just by looking at his face. He was worried that if he was close to the boss, what happened that night would repeat, and if he stayed away, he would be fired from his job and be transferred to other places. One of the things he feared the most was that the incident would be heard by his family. He remembers the days when his fiancée left him.

He became sluggish, distracted, and started making mistakes over and over at his job. The boss noticed the change in him right away. One day, he called her to him again and said, “You can give me a massage once in a while in the evening if you want, but if you don’t want, I’ll take you to another department. You actually like it too, but girls are too embarrassed to say it. Do not forget what will happen to you if you tell this to others.” These words weighed more heavily on Shaheste than what she had experienced that night.

When he first came to me, he had already been transferred to another place. He was confused, his mental health was almost completely deteriorated. He said that someone from the workplace was constantly following him, that a hidden camera was placed in his room, that everyone working in the apartment knew about the incident, that they looked at him and laughed about it, and that no one wanted to be friends with him anymore like before. Previously, these suspicions were limited only to the place where he worked, but later the neighbors living in the neighborhood got involved and eventually became suspicious of everyone. Taxis were honking their horns to show that they knew about the incident, and even the songs played on television and radio were referring to him.

Shahete was treated as an inpatient in the hospital for a while. Then he was given long delegation reports and eventually retired due to disability. When he retired, he did not want to stay in Ankara. Now he lives in his hometown with his mother. He takes a handful of drugs every day. There was a small garden in front of their house. He was busy with the garden until the evening, never leaving the house.

It comes to me one day a year. His old delusions are gone, but he is offended by the world. The color that used to be pink has turned yellow. His blue eyes look sad. He always blames himself for what happened that night and asks me every time he comes, “Wouldn’t it be okay if I didn’t want to?” saying…